31/07/2017
what is wrong with me?
tell me, why does it all lead back to you
I've found myself sitting here
again
with an overload of thoughts that contain
your being; wondering how you are
and then i find myself lying there
again
with an imagination that contains
your presence; wondering what you're doing
And i'm all mixed up emotions
that's probably a first with you-
I mean seeing you again makes me happy but
the fact that i'm seeing your pretty self in my memories
makes me sad
and then i have this combination of feeling angry and really sad
that even being the boy in my dreams
you have the nerve to tell me tales
like you love me, when maybe
the real, in the flesh you doesn't
And it's strange,
you're not always the last thought i have
before i sleep
and you're not the first person i think about
in the morning either,
yet still
just thinking about the mere thought of you
makes my heart clench in it's place
as though recalling a bad memory
and there's also this sudden ache
that erupts at the thought of you,
and it hurts so terribly as though
my body itself is fighting between breathing
and just letting go:
deep heavy breaths
like the ones that you feel
when you've been running for a long time,
but when the real in the flesh you
is right in front of me and i can see you,
I don't feel all these sudden emotions like i am now
but when you're not there
and i can't see the real you;
my chest tightens
you invade everything
and i feel like i'm suffocating in myself
because you're not there, and i can't change it
I miss you: it's a fact i don't want to admit.
I loved you: that was real too.
And i know you don't make the whole world fade anymore
when you look at me,
but you're still 'it' for me and i know with this new me
you should've gone too but you're still there
my feelings are still there-
maybe not as strong and as pure as before but they're there;
behind all the lies, behind all the truths
at the back of everything, they're there
and they're still surviving, they're still alive.
Maybe it'll take some time to figure out
what's wrong with me but
apart of me hopes you know it too
YOU ARE READING
When There Was Me And You | Part 1
詩歌You were my First Love; toxic, unhealthy for my state. But i learned Love from you; you taught me what it meant to spend nights crying at the edge of my bed and how it felt to really smile. ************************* This is a collection of poetry...
