When There Was Me And You | Part 1

27/11/2018 - this is for you

27/11/2018

Dear my ex-lover

i wrote this for you again;

it will be blunt so i'm sorry beforehand

but i've been meaning to say i'm not in love with you anymore

i guess it's a good thing,

there's no longer any toxicity

i can be happy with or without you

and i assume you are too;

i do still admire you, you're a beautiful person

and i know you did a lot of things that were wrong

you hold regrets that weigh you down, keep you captive from being happy

but i want you to know, i no longer hold a grudge against what you did

people are like glass, they're bound to shatter at some point

you happened to be the one to break mine 

over and over but it was meant to happen, no one can change that

i was meant to fall in love with you and you were meant to leave me broken 

damaged and vulnerable

but i promise i'm okay

i've learnt how to pick myself up, i've moved on

i once read a quote that said time doesn't just heal wounds, 

it helps you mature with the damage

i guess it's true

with time, you learn how to be there for yourself

to not depend on the one who caused you the wound,

to know in the end it's always just you, 

you have to look forward to a better tomorrow

so i want you to know, i still respect you

i still care about you, immensely

how can i hate someone who showed me the definition of love?

i know you regret what happened,

i know you're sorry 

i know you wish you could change it 

but please don't think that

i wouldn't give anything to change what happened between us

i hold what we had closely, you were the first i fell in love with and 

i'm in love with our memories, 

i'm in love with the moments we shared

i want to keep them the way they are, 

the bad and the good

i want to keep it all, it's the only way i feel like i had a part of your heart too

Please don't let your regrets bring you down-

don't let them come in the way

i don't know where you are right now, whether you're well or not

but the past will be the past

don't worry about me, you'll always be special to me 

i haven't been able to put myself first every time

but i'm and i'm learning how to love again

so i hope your future is how you want it to be, i hope you find the one you love;

the one you can trust and fight for, but until then i hope you're better

happier