Afraid | Nikki Sixx

10.

Carly's POV

Nikki left a week ago. With writing in the studio, gigs and my job, we haven't seen each other at all. I took off today just to go surprise him at his house. I smiled when I thought about seeing him again. He's really something. I haven't felt this way about anyone before. I like him so much, when I'm around him I'm just all smiles. He makes me incredibly happy. I'm glad I did go into that bar that night, it was one of the best decisions I ever made.

I slipped on his leather jacket that he left here. It's huge on me, since he is 6'1, but I love it. It makes me feel closer to him, it smells just like him. It's not the weather for it, either. But, Nikki and the rest of the Crue where this all the time, I can too. I smiled. My life just seems to be going my way for once. I have an amazing guy in my life for once, I also have 3 new friends because of it. I sighed and smiled happily at my reflection. I don't normally smile at myself ever, but Nikki makes me feel pretty. He makes me feel wanted, and I've never felt that way ever in my life before.

I had a Motley Crue shirt on that Nikki gifted to me, plain blue jeans on with a rip on the knee, and Nikki's letter jacket draped over my smaller figure. Okay, I'm ready to go.

I slipped on my shoes, grabbed a cigarette from my pack and started to make my way towards Nikki's house. I lit my cigarette and exhaled the smoke into the California air.

By the time I got to his house, my cigarette was long gone, all that I had left was the excitement I had in my chest to see Nikki again. I walked up the steps that lead to his door and opened the door. He never locks his door, which is fine by me, it makes it easier to surprise him.

I started to make my way to where I thought he would be, but stopped when I heard laughter. Oh, all the guys are here. Even better. I covered my mouth to try to cover up the giggles that were threatening to erupt. I wanted to wait for the right moment to surprise him and the guys, but what I got instead, it made me wish I had just stayed home.

"Carly is different and a bit unusual unlike the other girls you sleep with, Sixx," I heard Vince's voice. "What happened, you like shy girls now?" He laughed.

I stiffened up as I heard Vince making fun of me behind my back. I couldn't hear what Nikki had said in response to Vince, so I quietly stepped closer to listen.

"Nah, don't fall for her shy girl image, she's probably a freak in bed, all the shy ones are, right, Nikki?" Tommy chimed in, causing the men to all start laughing. My stomach churned with disgust at this conversation, hearing what they actually think of me. It made me wanna throw up, it made me wanna go in there and set their asses straight, but I'm too scared to do that, so I continued to listen, hoping that Nikki would say anything to defend me.

"I haven't slept with her yet," Nikki said, no emotion in his voice. "So when you do, then what?" Mick asked. I was surprised that Mick joined in, he's usually the mature one. "Don't tell me you got attached to her now. You never get attached to the girls you sleep around with, you almost immediately call them a cab and go straight to bed like it was nothin'." Tommy said, all of their laughs filled the room and it only breaks my heart even more that Nikki didn't even defend me.

I grew disgusted and angry about how they talked about me, what they actually thought of me. I let the letter jacket fall from my shoulders, hitting the hard floor with a soft thud.

Turning on me heel, I stormed off, slamming the door behind me. Anger coursed through my veins as I balled my hands up into fists, digging my nails deeply into my skin.

"Carly!" I heard Nikki call from behind me. I didn't flinch, I didn't turn around, I don't want to see him, I don't want to confront him, it'll only tear me apart even more, knowing he just let his friends talk about me like I was an object instead of a human being.

Once I reached my house, I quickly let myself in, slamming the door shut and locking it quickly, preventing Nikki from just waltzing in and try to fix everything. All these thoughts swirled around my brain like a hurricane that it made it difficult to breathe, a lump formed in my throat and tears filled my eyes.

I didn't head to my bathroom to get a new razor, I don't feel the need to hurt myself, I've already been hurt enough by him. I finally walked into my kitchen, just a week ago Nikki was here making us food, joking with me, making me feel special, fooling me. How could I be so stupid? Really believing I had finally found someone who actually was good for me.

Defeated, I finally collapsed on the tiled floor of my kitchen and pulled my legs up to my chest as I sobbed, gripping my hair angrily as hot tears rolled down my cheeks.

(a/n: I JUST WANN SAY THANK YOU TO MY BEEB FOR HELPING ME WITH THIS STORY AGAIN I LOVE YOU SO MUCH, thank you for reading, please vote, feedback is always welcome, bye👻)