Afraid | Nikki Sixx

19.

Carly's POV

I parked outside of where the boys normally rehearse and got out, locking my car, I made my way up to the door and started to walk to the room that they said they'd be in. They're all rehearsing for the tour that should be coming up in 1986. They have a little less than a year to get everything situated.

I walked over to the door and saw a piece of paper with writing on the door. "If you're Carly or a member of Motley, come right in. Everyone else, fuck off." I chuckled a little and opened the door. "Finally, Nikki's here–" Vince said, then stopped when he saw me. "Please tell me you brought Nikki with you," he said, I slowly shook my head. "He's not here? I'm here to watch the end of rehearsal and take him home with me." I explained. They all groaned. "He's never late, we tried calling his house but, he's not answering. Nobody can get ahold of him." Mick said. Worry washed over me.

"Where could he be?" I asked, worry taking over my voice. "I stopped by his house earlier to see if he just overslept, he's not there." Tommy said. I dry swallowed. "Where is he?!" I exclaimed, my voice trembling. I don't know why I'm so worried that he's MIA, but I am. He's never late to rehearsal. "We don't know." Tommy said. "Do any of you have any idea at all where the hell he could be?!" I asked. They all looked at each other. I'm guessing that's a no.

"Wait," Tommy said. "Do you think he relapsed?" He asked. I felt a lump in my throat. "R-Relapsed?" I stumbled through. The thought of him relapsing never crossed my mind, he's been doing so good. "He has been alone for 3 days." Vince said. "Does he usually get bad when he's alone?" I asked. They all nodded. "And my dumbass just let him go!" I said, angrily. I'm not mad at any of them, if anything, I'm mad at myself for not stopping him. I felt frustrated tears go down my face. "Hey, Carls, we don't know if that's actually what happened." Mick said, walking over to me and putting an arm around my shoulder.

"If that's what happened, it's all my fault!" I cried. Mick pulled me in for a hug. "It is not your fault, Carly. Don't put that on yourself." He said, rubbing my back. "Do either one of you have any idea where he could be?" Mick asked Vince and Tommy.

"Actually, I think I might know," Tommy said. My head shot up, I looked over at Tommy. "Where??" I asked, urgently. "It's a place that him and I used to go to to get some drugs quick." He said. "Let's go there." I said, walking to the door. "Carly, the people there are dangerous–" "Not as dangerous as I am when someone fucks with a person I care about. Let's go, I said." I cut him off. The boys were all shocked at what I said and they all decided to go with me, I followed Tommy's car and the other two followed us in theirs. Tommy pulled up to the place and I instantly recognized Nikki's car. I quickly parked my car and got our before Tommy or any of the other guys did.

I raced up to the door before any of the guys could stop me. I slammed my fist on the door until someone answered. "Where is Nikki?" I asked, anger in every word I said. "I don't know who Nikki is," the guy replied. "Don't be fucking stupid. Everyone knows who Nikki Sixx is I bet he's the only Nikki in this fucking house, I see his car now tell me where the hell he is." I said, stepping closer to him.

"He walked off–" "He wouldn't leave his car here and walk off!!" I cut him off, my anger boiling over. "WHERE IS HE, TELL ME NOW!" I screamed. The guy stepped backwards. "He, uh. He was already heavily under the influence and he wanted some smack," he started. I already hate where this is going. "Someone else shot him up and he OD'd instantly." He said. My eyes went wide. "Is he at the hospital?" I asked. He slowly shook his head. He walked past me and gestured me to follow him. I followed him to the alleyway beside his house and to a dumpster. "He's.. here." He said.

I walked over and looked inside the dumpster. Nikki was lying there, lifeless. His body was covered in lumps and bruises. My whole body started to vibrate with anger. "YOU THREW HIM IN THE DUMPSTER?!" I screamed. "Carly, calm-" "YOU THREW HIM AWAY AS IF HE WAS FUCKING NOTHING!" I yelled, ignoring Tommy who tried to cut in. "You're fuckin' crazy, lady. He knew what he was getting himself into!" He retaliated. I felt my anger take over, before I knew what I was doing, my fist connected with his nose, I felt cracking and he fell backwards. Out cold.

The guys were standing there, stunned. "Get over here and get him out of here!" I yelled. The guys hurriedly ran over, stepping over the man's body and pulled Nikki out of the dumpster. He started groaning. "Oh my god, he's alive." Vince breathed out, holding him over his shoulder. I broke down in tears of happiness that he was still alive. "Put him in my car, I'm taking him home." I said. They laid him down in the backseat of my car. Nikki groaned when his body hit the seats. "You guys go, I'm gonna take it from here." I said, walking to my car door. "Are you sure? One of us or all of us could come and help?" Vince suggested. I shook my head. "I'm gonna take him home. By myself. Thank you, though." I said. I got in my car and started to drive.

Tears ran down my face when it all finally hit me. Nikki died tonight. He overdosed and died tonight. Somehow, he came to but, he still died. I couldn't stop crying all the way back to my house. During the ride there, Nikki fully woke up, still heavily under the influence.

I parked and got out, walking to the backseat doors and opening it up. I grabbed his arms and pulled him upwards, I put his arm over my shoulder and walked up to my house. I unlocked the door and struggled to get him to my bed.

Finally, he collapsed on my bed, face first into the pillows. I took his shoes off and put his keys that were in his pockets on the dresser. I walked over to him, he passed out again. I put my hand on his neck to check for a pulse, he still has one. I can't believe he cheated death.

I kicked my shoes off and sat down next to him in the bed. I laid down, turned him over onto his back and looked over at his sleeping face. I started to cry again, I almost lost him today. I felt my sobs taking over and covered my mouth with my hand. This day has been absolutely crazy.

I got up and laid right next to him, putting my arms securely around him. "Don't leave again, don't leave." I whispered to him. I sniffles and buried my face into his shirt, crying. "Please don't leave."

(a/n: thank you so much for reading. please make sure to vote, it's greatly appreciated. feedback is always welcome, i hope you enjoyed. okay bye👻)