Afraid | Nikki Sixx

56.

Nikki's POV

I awoke to the sun shining in my eyes, I weakly blinked my eyes open and groaned a little. I looked down at my arm because pain shot through it, in my arm is a needle and down my arm is a trail of blood, with a small pool in the palm of my hand. I slowly took the needle out and grabbed an old shirt off the floor and wiped the blood off myself.

I stood up and walked over to the mirror. What am I doing to myself? I look like I'm already fucking dead. This has to end differently. I can't die like this, things have to change. I'm done doing this shit, enough is enough. I've overdosed more times than I can count, I've died twice, where's the line?

I walked over to the bedroom door, I unlocked it and opened it up, I looked down to see Carly, curled into a ball, sleeping. Her face is puffy and tear stained. What the fuck am I doing to her? Why am I doing this to the woman I love? Why am I putting her and I through this? I'm wasting away, I'm throwing away everything I worked for, I wanted to be a rock star all my life and I finally got there and I'm throwing it all away. I'm done letting drugs and alcohol control my entire life.

I bent down and rested my hand on Carly's arm. "Carly Beth?" I said, quietly. She stirred awake and sat up quickly. "You're okay??" She asked, her voice raw and hoarse. "Yes, baby. I'm okay," I said. She quickly wrapped her arms around me and hugged me tightly, burying her face into my shoulder. "Nikki, please stop this." She cried. "I don't want to see you die again, because you won't be lucky the next time." She said, leaning back and looking at me. "I'm going to a rehabilitation place." I said. Her eyes went wide.

"W-What?" She asked. "You hate rehabs, though." She said. "Well, I hate being a junkie more." I replied. Her face lit up. "You're going to get help?!" She exclaimed. I chuckled and nodded. She lunged at me and hugged me the tightest she's ever hugged me before, I fell backwards and laughed. "Nikki, you have no idea how happy this makes me!" She said, happily. She leaned back and started to kiss all over my face, I laughed again. "Babe, okay!" I said, sitting up. She stood up and held out her hands to help me up.

I took her hands and stood up with her. "I'm sorry, I'm just so happy!" She said. "Will you go to one, too?" I asked her. She furrowed her eyebrows. "I'm not addicted to drugs–" "Pills and blow?" I cut her off. "That's just for fun–" "That's what I said, and look at me." I cut her off again. She smiled. "Of course I'll go," she said.

A few weeks had gone by, all of the band is in a rehab now. It was time to hit the reset button. One of us was going to die, (again) and we've all had our fun, it's time for a change. Carly is already out of rehab and at home, I miss her so much. But, I know I'll see her soon. I know that this is good for both of us. She also got more help for her anorexia and she's been gaining the weight back. She's been sending me pictures she takes on her Polaroid of her progress.

Being clear headed again, it brings a lot of things into prospective, like how much I truly do love Carly. I no longer have drugs and alcohol in my system and my new addiction is her, she's always on my mind. I can't wait to hold her again, I can't wait for her to see how healthy I look. I still have a little more ways to go, but I'm sober again and it's the best feeling in the world.

(a/n: thank you so much for reading! this story is approaching it's final chapter and i'm really sad about it :/// but, i hope you enjoyed! please vote, it's greatly appreciated! feedback is always welcome, okay bye👻)