Guilt, trust, love

FEARS AND INSECURITIES

Next morning, Raman came in his room and was shocked. She was wearing a saree exactly similar to what Shagun bought.

R: What's all this Ishita?

I: What... It's a beautiful saree- quite the way you like!

R: What are you talking?

I: Kyun... kya soch rahe ho? Ki ye saree mere paas kaise? Come on Raman, it's simple. I just called up the store and asked them for another piece of the sarees Raman Bhalla bought yesterday. As I paid the bill, I had the bill no.

R: Ishita please.... kya jaroorat hain aisa kuchh karne ki...

I: Jaroorat hain Raman, I am your wife na. I should take care of your tastes and your likes. So, I just dressed up the way you like. Anyway, I am getting late for the clinic.

Saying so, she left the room. After some time, Raman came down and was about to leave when Toshiji asked him to have breakfast.

T: Raman, nashta karle puttar.

R: No maa. Bhook nahi hain.

T: Kya baat hain puttar? Ishita bhi bina breakfast kiye chali gayi aur ab tu bhi...

R: What? Ishita didn't have breakfast? Neelu breakfast pack karo hum dono ka, I will have it with her at the clinic.

He reached the clinic and to barged inside. As Ishita was dressed up like Shagun, she was feeling a bit uncomfortable. When Raman came inside, he saw Ishita sitting on her chair unaware of his presence. He sneakily went at the back of her chair and tried to hug her from behind. Ishita was scared as she didn't know who came all of a sudden and shrugged off his hands. Raman came in the front and saw tears in her eyes.

R: Relax Ishita, it's me.

I: Ohhh. Aap ho. Main to darr hi gayi.

R: Tum itna low kyun sound kar rahi ho? If I know you right, its because of this saree, isn't it.

I: Nahi. Nothing like that.

R: Madrasan, I have told you a thousand times that you are perfect the way you are. The why all of this? No need to dress up like Shagun.

I: Please Raman, baatein mat banao. Had I been really perfect, you wouldn't have gone with Shagun leaving me alone yesterday. And not just yesterday, but many times...

R: Ishita, I didn't do it intentionally yaar. She needed my help...

I: For shopping!

R: I couldn't let her go alone

I: But could easily leave me alone?

R: Not at all. I hate it when I have to do that. But pl understand dear, I am doing something really good for the both of us. You trust me naa...?

With this, Ishita broke down. Though Raman couldn't understand why, he wiped her tears while she said...

I: I trust you Raman, but actually I don't trust myself. I don't believe my own destiny. I have faced a lot of rejection before. The person who loved me the most- Subbu left me all alone. I had to fight the world who raised questions on me wherever I went. Then you came in my life as a blessing, you loved me, pampered me, made me live my life again. But... I know I should not feel insecured due to Shagun, but I do Raman, I do.

She was in tears.

R: Ishita, Shagun is my past. Hum dono ka ek ateet hain. And I think, we have dealt with it quite well.

I: Raman aapke past mein aur mere past mein fark hain. My past is completely out of my system because it was just an affair. But yours was a marriage Raman. You have 2 kids. Jaisa rishta hamara pichhle 6 mahino se hain waisa rishta aapka Shagun ke saath 6 saal raha hain Raman. It does matter; it truly does.

By now, even Raman was in tears. He could totally understand Ishita's situation.

R: Ishita, I don't have anything to say actually. But sirf itna hi kahunga ki abhi apneaap ko aur hamare rishte ko Shagun se compare mat karna. Hamara rishta bohot alag aur bohot jyada beautiful hain. Sirf thodasa waqt do mujhe. I promise you, I will clear all your misunderstandings and always remember, I always love you.

Saying so, he caressed her face and kissed her on her cheeks. He left from there. Ishita was thinking that probably Raman was right. She was overthinking and he was just being helpful towards Shagun due to her pregnancy. (Here, Ishita knows about Shagun being pregnant as she overheard Manoj talking to Raman about it. )