Guilt, trust, love

Part 29

Raman was driving the car like a maniac while Ishita was continuously questioning him about the matter.

I: Raman hua kya hain? Kuchh bataoge? Kahan ja rahe hain hum? Aur itni fast, rash driving kyun kar rahe ho?

R: Ishita please stop asking me questions. Bas chalo mere saath. Just be with me. Please.

Raman stops the car in front of City Hospital and Ishita's heart skips a beat.

I: Kya hua hain Raman? Aur kisko?

R: Shagun bathroom mein slip ho ke gir gayi. Abhi ghar pe mujhe Manoj ka call aaya tha.

I: What? I hope woh aur uske pet mein bachha salamat ho.

They enter the hospital. Both were shivering with fear. Soon, the doctor came out of the room where Shagun was kept.

R: Doctor, Shagun kaisi hain?

The doctor just nodded in a no!

Manoj: Doctor, please batayi na kya hua hain. Main medical terms samajh pata hoon. You can tell me.

Doc: Shagun toh theek hain. Lekin...

I: Lekin kya doctor?

Doc: Lekin uske pet mein jo bachha tha use hum nahi bacha sake. I am sorry.

Raman collapsed while Ishita fell numb. Manoj went aside to give the couple their space.
Raman sat on a chair nearby and started crying vigorously. Even Ishita's tears made way to her cheeks. But she somehow controlled them and went near Raman. Resting her hand on  his shoulder she sat next to him. Without a second thought Raman hugged her tight. Even Ishita didn't resist and both cried together grieving their child's demise. Both shared an expression of their true emotion after ages.

I: It's okay Raman. Yeh dard humne pehle bhi ek baar saha hain. I know how difficult it is to cope with this loss but we have to do it.

R: I am sorry Ishita. I am sorry. Main galat tha. Aaj meri wajah se phir se ek baar tumhe iss dard ko jhelna pad raha hain.

I: Lekin aap ne jo kuchh bhi kiya woh yeh sochkar toh nahi kiya tha na ki mujhe takleef ho. I agree ki jo aap ne kiya uska anjaam galat hua, lekin let's forget it.

R: Tum bhool paogi?

I: Aap mujhe itna weak samajhte ho?

R: Haan! Kyunki jo dukh duniya nahi dekh paati woh tumhari aankon mein main dekh sakta hoon.

I: You are overthinking. Main jaanti hoon ki loss bada hain, lekin mere saath mera paraivaar, mere bachhe - Ruhi, Adi, Amma, Appa, sab log bhi toh hain. And I knew it from the very beginning ki biological maa banane ki khushi mere naseeb mein hi nahi hain.

R: Yehi toh meri galati hain. Tumhe mujhe aisi ummeed hi nahi lagani chahiye thi. And tum Adi, Ruhi ki maa ho isse main bohot khush aur satisfied hoon. It's just not that way ki main...

I: (cuts him) Yeh sab main jaanti hoon Raman. Tabhi toh maine kaha ki biological maa nahi, lekin usse bhi badi, bohot badi khushi mili mujhe - Ishima banane ki! Aur aaj, iss pal jo hain na mere paas, uske saath mein muskurake, hasi-khushi apni zindagi jeena chahti hoon.  Toh I have no regrets.

R: (looking into her eyes)  Agar tum mukhe maaf kardo toh, even I won't have any regrets.

I: (looking away) Raman, for now, let it be. Ab humein yeh sochna chahiye ki ghar par sab ko kya bataenge. Unke mayoos chehre mujhse dekhe jayenge.

R: (keeping his hand on hers) I will handle that front, you don't worry about that.

Ishita kept her other hand on top of it. Raman looked at her sincerely and both could read from each others eyes that they had their share of experiences and learnings from it.  Now what remained was just the vocalization of their forgiveness and love.