Guilt, trust, love

Part 28

-IN ISHRA BEDROOM

R: Kya ho gaya Ishita? Are you upset about something?

I: Yeh aap kya kar rahe ho Raman? Aur kyun? Shagun ko iss ghar se bahar bhejna ka kya matlab hain?

R: Kya matlab hain? Maine jo kuchh bhi kiya...

I: (cuts him) Mere liya kiya! Right?

R: Agar aisahi hoga toh?

I: Maine aapko bola tha ki mujhe manane ki koshish mat karo. Don't try that on me.

R: Tumhe gussa exactly kis baat ka aa raha hain? Iss baat ki maine Shagun ko maine ghar se jane ko bola ya iss baat ka ki tum shayad ab meri baat samajhne lagi ho, mujh pe vishvas karne lagi ho?

I: Main aap par vishwas bilkul nahi karti. Aap ne mujhe dhoka diya hain Raman.

R: Ishita, yeh baat tum bhi jaanti ho kahin na kahin ki maine jo bhi kiya sirf tumhari khushi ke liye kiya. Tareeka galat tha, main maanta hoon lekin intentions kabhi galat nahi the. Lekin yeh baat tum khudse qubool nahi karna chahti ki main tumse pyaar karta hoon aur jaan-boojhkar tumhe kabhi takleef nahin dunga.

I: (starts crying) Lekin aap yeh sab band kijiye please. Main haath jodti hoon, please! Haan, main chahkar bhi aapse nafrat nahi kar sakti lekin aap se door rehna chahti hoon. Na mujhe koi expectations rakhne hain na hi koi wajah chahiye aap ki taraf kheechi chali aane ki.

R: Lekin aisa kyun?

I: Kyun ki main darti hoon! Dobara yeh dhoka khane se, dobara toot kar bikharne se. Isliye mera yeh faisla hain ki main aap ke saath koi rishta nahi nibhaungi sivay dutiful parents ke. Shagun yahan rahe ya kahin aur, kisi ke bhi saath rahe, mujhe koi farak nahi padta.
Ek aur baat, Shagun ke pet mein jo bachha hain uske liye mere dil mein jo pyar, mamta hain, woh sirf isliye hain kyunki woh ek chhota sa, masoom sa bachha hain. Main uski hifazat bilkul waise hi karungi jaise main apni Adi-Ruhi ki karti hoon. 

R: Lekin Ishita woh bachha hamara hain.

I: Is baat ke meri nazaron mein koi mayane nahi hain. Aap ne diye hue dhoke ko main kabhi nahi bhulungi, lekin uss baat ki saja woh bachha nahi bhugtega.

R: Listen...

I: (sternly) I think I have made myself  very clear.

(Left the room and Raman was left thinking about his next move to pacify his wife.)

Two weeks passed. Ishita and Raman were busy in their schedules, finding time for family and children. But Raman wasn't really successful in winning back Ishita's trust. Though Ishita did not treat him very amicably, she didn't hurt him much either. Overall, their relationship had come to a standstill. Although Raman was making efforts, he thought to let Ishita take her own time, deal with her insecurities and inhibitions. So both were almost behaving neutral in their relationship.

-One morning:

During breakfast, Raman's phone rang and he was shocked to hear what the person on the other side had to say. The phone slipped out of his hands and fell on the floor. Everyone was startled.

I: What happened Raman? Koi tension ki baat hain?

Raman, without saying a word grabbed Ishita's hand and left the house almost running.

Toshiji: Hey Matarani! Yeh kya hogaya use? Aise kahan chala gaya? Aur woh bhi Ishita ko lekar.

Raman was driving the car like a maniac while Ishita was continuously questioning him about the matter.

I: Raman hua kya hain? Kuchh bataoge? Kahan ja rahe hain hum? Aur itni fast, rash driving kyun kar rahe ho?

R: Ishita please stop asking me questions. Bas chalo mere saath. Just be with me. Please.