Love of my life

Track # 09

Broken

Callista's

"She's cute."

Aeneas just got to the care after saying goodbye to his daughter. I was watching them, and I can feel my heart aching. Naiisip ko si Penelope Aenead. If she had lived, they would be the same age now. I can imagine my little girl loving crabs as much as she does. She would've been as mataray as she is. I sighed. Puro na lang ako hope saka what if. I really miss her. Hindi ko nga maintindihan kung paano ko nami-miss ang isang taong kahit kailan ay hindi ko naman nakasama. She was only alive for three hours. I was able to hold her. She was too tiny but she's beautiful. Ang pula – pula ng mga pisngi niya. I had her cremated and I hold her near in my heart.

"She is. Kaya lang kung minsan, sobrang kulit niya. Wala rin akong panalo sa kanya kas inga napakadaldal, matanong rin. Hindi ko alam kung saan nagmana, hindi naman ganoon iyong kapatid ko."

I only nodded at him. I hate the fact that he is happy, and I am longing for a child whom I never got the chance to be with.

"Whatever. Chauffer, let's go." Wika ko. Ayoko nang pag-usapan. I don't wanna be immature, but I am starting to hate that kid.

Tahimik na lang ang buong byaheng iyon. Wala akong balak kausapin pa siya. Now, I am asking myself why I did this. I am certainly opening the can of worms from yesterday. Kakayanin ko ba? Kaya ko naman, that's for sure. I am a Consunji, I can take on everything.

I focused myself on seeing Circe later. That bitch and I have a fit to settle. Now, now, I know that it's still not sure and all but if Aeneas is right – and I had no idea why I decided to think that he's right or why I trusted him – again. I am just stupid. Hindi naman dapat ganito pero naisip ko rin nab aka a part of me is wanting for an answer to those questions I don't even know I have.

I looked at Aeneas, he's asleep now. I felt the urge of touching his face, but I didn't do it. I must not do it because it's wrong. Ayokong hawakan ang isang bagay na matagal nang wala sa akin. Hindi ko na pag-aari si Aeneas. Matagal ko na siyang pinakawalan.

I took out my phone and texted Ate Molly. I asked her if pabalik na sila ng Metro, kung sakali man, sa kanila na lang ako mag-stay kaysa umuwi ako sa mansion mamaya, ako lang mag-isa roon at sa pagkakataong ito, ayokong maging mag-isa.

Muli akong napatingin kay Aeneas. Hindi ako makatiis. I said something – something I wished he didn't hear but he did.

"How come you get to have all the happiness in the world while I am stuck here, still hoping for some light?"

"What do you mean?"

"Nothing. Just go back to sleep." Walang ganang wika ko. Tumingin na muli ako sa labas ng bintana. Alam kong malapit na kami. Sa totoo lang, kinakabahan ako, hindi dahil takot ako kay Circe, kundi dahil hindi ko alam kung hanggang saan ang limitasyon nang maaari kong gawin sa kanya.

"Miss, nandito na tayo." Wika noong chauffer. Napatingin ako sa bahay na kinahintuan namin. Aeneas was the first one to get out of the car. I took all the strength and hatred I have for this girl. I need to chanel it pagkatapos ay ibubuga ko sa kanya.

Bumaba na rin ako. I took my Hermes bag with me. Ipapakita ko lang sa kanya kung sino ako.

Aeneas and I stood in front of the gate. He pressed the doorbell, may maid na lumabas. Tinanong naman niya kung sino kaming dalawa and Aeneas – being charming and all, managed to make the maid believe that we are in fact, Circe's friends. Pinapasok niya kami. Ang sabi niya tulog raw si Circe dahil gabi na ito nakauwi noong nakaraan. I don't care. Kung pwede ko siyang buhusan ng tubig sa mukha habang tulog siya ay gagawin ko talaga.