From the Razor to the Rosary (Completed)

Chapter Two - Famous Last Words.

   Donna takes my hand firmly. "Will you ride with us?" she asks me, I look towards Mikey, riding with them right behind the coffin is only for the dead's closest family, but as I look questioningly at Mikey, he nods firmly.

  "Of course" I nod at Donna shakily, she takes my hand and walks me from the house, Mikey close behind us and the whole of the house hanging back. Near the sidewalk is a funeral hearse, a black coffin sits inside, surrounded by wreaths of flowers of all different colours, the result is beautiful, but I don't stop to admire the work. All I can think about is how Gerard lays inside, I haven't seen him in a week, probably the longest time I've ever gone without seeing him actually, but I don't want to see him, they'll lay him out in the church and open the coffin so everyone can go past and offer goodbyes, but I don't want to do that.

  Is that bad of me? Does it make me a bad friend? That I don't want to give him a final goodbye? We shared a goodbye, even if I didn't know I was saying goodbye to him at the time, it still counts as a goodbye in my mind, and I just can't face saying goodbye to him again, especially to a corpse. To look at him as he lays cold and pale, talking to him... it just seems wrong, without him smiling back at me and answering back in his sarcastic, sassy tone of voice... it's not Gerard, I don't want to see him dead, as an empty shell.

  But Donna steers me forward, unaware of my tangled thoughts, she leads Mikey and I, holding both our hands so tightly I feel most of my arm go numb, but I don't complain, and neither does Mikey. Donna steers us towards a black car that sits behind the hearse. Mikey gets in first and Donna motions for me to climb in behind him. I sit close to Mikey, we don't really like physical contact, but today is an exception because as soon as I sit close to him he takes my hand and holds on tight.

  Donna climbs in, closes the door and waits patiently, it's another story for me though, I sit, bouncing my knee up and down so fast that Mikey reaches out to pin my leg to the floor with his free hand. I throw him an apologetic look.   

  But he doesn’t seem to mind, he just gives me a faint smile, although he seems to be sweating quite heavily, Donna sits calmly, staring out the window, but this isn’t usual for her, usually she’d be chatting away and everyone would be wishing she’d be quiet, having her say nothing unnerves me, she just stares blankly out the window, seemingly at nothing. I wonder what she’s feeling, having just lost her eldest son. People say the loss of a child is the worst pain in the world, I hope I never have to experience that pain, and if I ever do I guarantee I wouldn’t be as collected as Donna is, but then again, people are very good at hiding things. 

  It doesn’t take us long to get to the church, maybe twenty minutes, Donna didn’t want him buried in the local church, because teenagers hang out there all the time to get drunk, so she decided to bury him in the church just outside of town, where his grave is less likely to become a vomit bowl. 

  When the car finally pulls to a stop I clamber out after Donna, trying not to fall flat on my face. 

  We wait on the gravel of the courtyard outside the church, the coffin is in front of us, parked right at the steps of the church, after a few moments the vicar from the church comes to greet us. It’s a woman, wearing ankle length robes, she looks like, well, just like you’d think a vicar would look, but I was expecting an older man maybe, this woman must be about forty, with thick blond hair and a cheerful smile, I can see right away she’s one of those really happy religious people, she practically skips up to us, but she makes an effort to not seem too happy, considering we’re at a funeral and all. 

  “Miss Way” she says in a hushed tone as she strolls up to us, she offers Donna her hand and shakes Donna’s with both of her own. Then she turns to us with a welcoming smile.