"You're... you're here" I stutter out, stumbling away from Gerard, he leans casually against the bookshelves, staring at me with knowing hazel eyes.
"Obviously" he snickers at my stunned expression.
"Why are you here?" I ask suspiciously, I lean away from him, against the opposite bookshelf.
"What do you mean?" he feigns innocence.
"I mean, you haven't been here for a week, I made you up a week ago because I thought I needed you... I don't think I needed you that much this time" I shrug, his eyes widen.
"You think you hallucinated me?" he bursts out laughing. "Hadley dear, no offense, but your imagination although good is nowhere near advanced enough to come up with an image as sexy as me" he runs a hand invitingly down his own chest, one of the best and worst things about Gerard? He's self obsessed. Or was, before he started to hate himself.
"But you can't be here" I frown, I'm surprised at how utterly calm I am, I should be running screaming ghost, but then I'd literally be tossed into the loony bin, and I saw Gerard last week, I freaked out then, and plus, I can't find the energy to freak out.
"Didn't we go over this?" he demands, crossing his arms over his chest irritably.
"You're dead, Gerard. You must be some hallucination that my mind made up in order to deal with the fact you're gone" I sigh tiredly, pressing my hands into my temples, my headache is so bad right now.
"My body is gone" he says earnestly, pushing off the bookshelf to stand in front of me, he even bends down to look me straight in the eyes, just like he used to. "But I, my soul, am right here, why can't you believe that?" he demands, his face frustrated.
"Because it hurts too much" I whisper, turning away to swipe at my cheeks, hot tears drip down my skin, leaving it warm and wet. Gerard looks at me for a shocked second.
"You never cry" he says confusedly.
"What do you call this?" I snap at him as I sit down against the bookshelf, I wrap my arms around my knees, bringing them up to my chest and sniffling as more tears fall down my face. Gerard sighs as he looks down at me, then he sits next to me and drapes an arm around my shoulders, I shy away from him.
"Hadley..." he sighs sadly.
"Please, Gerard. I just... I can't do this, you need to leave," I whisper, he looks at me with panicked eyes "Gerard, it's just too hard you being here, I'm supposed to be moving on, I'm supposed to be trying to get better" I gasp out now, the tears clog in my throat and make me choke.
"Hadley, people expect you to be..." he pauses, looking for the right word "Not yourself" he settles for, his arm tightens around my shoulders "It's only been a little while, it's not like people expect you to miraculously get over it" he sighs then, his head drooping and his face twisting into a mask of shame.
"Katherine does" I mutter bitterly, he looks at me quickly, his black eyebrows set in a curious line on his forehead, "She phoned me the day you showed up, she told me I was pathetic" fat tears force themselves through my eyelashes as I try to squeeze my eyes shut to avoid them spilling over. Gerard's arm tightens around me protectively, and I feel his cool finger brush at my cheek, swiping the hot tears from my skin.
"You are anything but pathetic, Hadley Stone" his voice is hushed as he pushes his forehead into my temple and says it certainly in my ear, his voice is low and angry, but there's a tenderness there that I can't explain.
"It must be true if my own mother thinks it" I whisper dejectedly, giving a hushed sob that comes out twisted because I try to smother it.
"Hadley... you can't think that, you're nothing but brilliant" Gerard says, his voice frustrated.
YOU ARE READING
From the Razor to the Rosary (Completed)
Fanfiction*Previously named We're Not Okay (I Promise)* Hadley had never had a great life. She got bullied, her home life wasn't exactly steady and she didn't have many friends, but all that was okay, because she had her best friend right there with her, Gera...
