Memorize (Book One)

The Process

It was over...

Had he really let them?

A new chapter was opening...

Good-byes had been strangely hopeful and quiet. His giant scream had been all muffled inside him. After all, there was heroism in all that: allowing humanity to fulfill a higher, grander destiny.

There had been no pain. No physical pain, that is. The re-scheduling had started smoothly, and all that was required of him was to lie down and collaborate peacefully. Everything was so carefully planned out. It had been done with much expertise and gentleness. So he couldn't understand why it was all still there, in his mind. Wasn't he supposed to be void and start anew? Yet... Hera was there. Dust and Gem were there too.

Being a family must mean just that, then : having people clenched to your heart, skin and soul, people whose love amounted to something more powerful than any physical force exerted on him. It meant shifting into a ball of solid strength, a raging force that couldn't be silenced. He wondered if he'd ever be really alive again.

Not without them!

As the hours passed, it turned out to be the longest night possible. He experienced the darkest moments of his existence. His world had been shredded into pieces. How could he get up the next moment and simply carry on? From every inch of his skin an electric force was rising and prickling. It turned into pure agony. It was unbearable, yet no escape was possible.

What escape, anyway?

He was lying there, waiting for the sun to set above the fine line of the horizon. He didn't know where he was. The room where they had taken him seemed huge and dark. Silence prevailed. He thought he heard a few murmurs. Low voices.

How many re-scheduled people were lying there, like him, it was hard to say. But he felt their presence through the imperfect quiet.

And every single bit of memory was vivid in his mind. Every parcel, morsel, bit and tidbit, every laugh, hurt and grain of sand. Every night of embrace, every morning of glory, all the tears and joys of his first life. It was still there, and he felt like a monster. How could he leave them? How could he find the nerve to kiss Hera good-bye, to hug his children one last time, to let the gates slide behind him? How on earth was it possible to cancel one's life for the sake of a new one?

Am I a hero, or a coward?

His head began to ache badly. GloCo would surely find out about him.

Why is my memory intact?

He was a mistake, an anomaly in the big scheme, and this was putting his life at risk. But he didn't care about that. All he could think was "I remember!"

Now, what was he going to do?