Memorize (Book One)

* Timeless *

Waking up in the early morning feels like the best thing I could ever experience. When she's by my side.

Earth is my home, the Forest is my haven, and Hera is my anchor.

Giant cosmic forces keep this planet in movement. Countless universes shift without ever colliding. Billions of heavenly bodies are born and die every day. They all comply to something beyond my understanding.

In this limitless scheme of things, Hera is here. Simply. She is the sun of my system.

And waking up to contemplate her is my favourite moment ever.

I'm a tiny speck in the ever-evolving dance of the stars: she's the uncanny power that holds me together and makes me feel strong and meaningful.

I sometimes think I am an outcast. Flashes, images from a past I haven't experienced flicker through my mind. They come and go: tiny outbursts of things I cannot grasp or understand.

I wonder who I really am...

I see moments that flutter or explode. Scenes of war and traces of happiness. Most of the time, I see the face of this woman I call 'Granny'. I see an old place that never existed. "Old" doesn't exist anymore...

I might be mad. But after all, what difference does it make? Hera shines a light on my world, a light that I don't want to see fade or die.

I open my eyes, roll on my side and watch over the shape of her body. I hear her breathing softly, while birds start singing in the Territory. Deciding to come back here has been such a wonderful move. Leaving it all behind for a few days is just what we needed.

Soon we will return to our normal life. But first... taking it all in...

I am still that young boy. She is still my sweetheart. We are still the children of the Forest. We always will.

I try to shake away my troubled thoughts, and once again I sink in the perfect moment that bonds me to her breath and her warm body. From the opening in our shack, I perceive the tall protective silhouettes of the trees. Our silent companions. I hear the murmur of our childhood brook, regular and comforting.

Moving on to another life will never be possible. They might make me forget. But my body will remember.

She yawns, stretches and reaches out for me. We don't need to talk. Not here. Not now.

I wonder how she feels. How she thinks. How it must be to be her. If she will comply and be reconditioned, one day. In a few decades. Will her Vows reach their deadline? Mine won't.

                                                                * *

I don't know what it is about Jay. Apart from the fact that he magnetizes me. That he's the most reliable creature on this planet. That he's the most attractive man I've ever met.

He's the source of my earliest memories. Like a deep well where I can endlessly quench my thirst. He's my sidekick, forever. He sees the little girl in me. He always understands. Recently, I noticed his increasing nervousness. His brooding nature seems to develop, and this darkness I can't quite fathom.

I don't know what it is about him. I know how Jay feels. I know he's my world, my sun, the air I breathe, the warm blood inside me. If he dies one day, if he forgets me, I will know it. I won't  admit it. But a part of him remains a mystery. His dreams... This pain he thinks he's hiding from me.

I know he's awake. I recognize Jay's gaze. I feel the warm pressure of his eyes on me.

I know he's watching over me, in the silence of the dying night.

I would recognize him, even if a million light years came in between us.

I am all enveloped in his embracing look. He is drawing me towards him. Without a touch.

So I roll on my back. I slide towards him.

I will never let you go.