Memorize (Book One)

*Jay*

I thought they were done with me. They weren't.

This was only the beginning.

They made me walk for hundred miles. I felt the cold, the wind, the rain. A never-ending downpour. I'm shaking now, and there's nowhere to go.

I've seen a storm. Stars falling down. Concussions and explosions. Detonations.

Feels like I've been wandering in unknown barren lands.

They did their best to crush me. But I focused on you.

I thought it would be gentle. It was in the beginning...

Then they injected the virus. I felt it immediately. An instant rush of heat. Waves after waves in my head. My brain started dissolving my thoughts. I knew it was just a fool's stunt.

They tried to keep me away from my resolutions.

Never give up.

They kept coming back. My thoughts. I fought back. I resisted.

I don't understand anything anymore. All I know is that I wanted to keep it all. To cling to it.

I saw them dissolve into thin air. Melt through my fingers, and shatter into meaningless particles.

And so I walked, and walked, and walked. Still they kept passing by, my cherished memories.

They blew up, re-assembled, looked for me. Tiny intimate aliens searching their way back into me.

I even started running. Chasing them, summoning them back.

"Relax, this will soon be over."

No! Hell, no!

Is there a path to go back to where it all started? Is there a way to have it all again?

I don't care whether I'm born anew, or dying. I don't care where they're taking me. I don't care what they might do to me. I don't care about GloCo. I don't want a new life. All I care... All I care about is you.

Dust... Gem.

Hera.

This will never stop, I think. I need to stop. I'm exhausted. Oh, to rest for a little while... But what if I awake to nothing. What if I awake, and you're gone?

I don't want to lose myself. God, no. Don't let that happen! I never thought you existed, and here I am, begging you...

Let us live old and free. I'll never let go.

Never.

"You're now going to fall asleep. Then you'll be as good as new. We'll take you to the Flight Zone in the early hours of the morning. You're almost a Second-Born now."

That neutral voice in my head's telling me to sleep. I can't. Hera, I made a promise. I know you did too.

I'll never let you down.

They're trying to steal your face now. Your beloved body. It's all slipping away. I still feel your touch, yet I can't recall your name.

Your name... What was it, already? What was your sweet name? I can almost hear you say it... Yet, I don't remember.

Oh Lord, help me! I never wanted this!

I swear on all the life left in me, I'll find you again. I'll keep you deep within me. There must be a place they can't reach.  I'll fight till I die or see you again.

I know there was something I neded to remember. If I try really hard, maybe I'll find my way back to it.