8- Save Me [JKxTHxBTS]⚠️

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(Not a request)
⚠️Trigger warning (EXTREME):
-Abuse⚠️
-Self harm⚠️⚠️⚠️
-Suicide⚠️⚠️⚠️
DO NOT READ IF YOU GET TRIGGERED BY ANY OF THE ABOVE!!

Author's POV
Being abused at a young age isn't fun... it really isn't. Jungkook has finally been able to move away from Busan and to Seoul and fulfil his dream to be famous, he was part of a band called BTS, it was a dream come true.

Due to his bad childhood, he's found his peace in regressing into a very young age.

But being in the band came at a price: He couldn't regress properly and he couldn't tell anyone, even though the second youngest already confessed about his little side, the youngest couldn't so he eventually stopped regressing fully.

Then there's the fact he gets hate... a lot of it. At the age of 17, his mental health was at it's worse. Combining his previous past of abuse, not being able to regress and hate from anti-armys, the boy resulted in self-harming where ever he can that doesn't show, so most of his cuts and burns are on his frail stomach.

"Kook! Dinner time, I made sushi!" Jin called "Ne, hyung. I'm coming down" Jungkook states as he goes downstairs and sits where he normally sits, which was in between Jin and Taehyung "Hi Kookie! Missed chu." Tae states, Jungkook gives a light chuckled "You saw me an hour ago, buddy." Jungkook replies as he ruffles Taehyung's hair.

The truth was: His headspace wants out, it REALLY wants out but the boy couldn't, he just couldn't.

"B-but hour ish wike gazillion years for TaeTae!" Tae states, making Jungkook give his signature fake laugh, which also made Tae smile.

No one heard him laugh for real so no one knows that his laugh is fake. After dinner, they were all in the living room watching a movie, cuddling each other but Jungkook, who put his knees to his chest and cuddled himself.

"I'm alone and I will always be alone. No one can help me, no one can stop me. Pain, misery and abuse. How long is this going to last? Will I fight to live another day? Life wasn't meant to be for me, such a mistake.
Cut. Burn. Blood. Burns. Red.
DO IT! DO IT NOW, JUNGKOOK. DO IT, give yourself the sense of euphoria you longingly want, go for it! NO ONE CARES. NO ONE FUCKING CARES, JUST KILL YOURSELF, NO ONE FUCKING CARES ABOUT YOU. NOT EVEN YOUR OWN FAMILY."

This was what Jungkook was thinking about, he slipped out if the living room, without anyone noticing. That was one of the worse thoughts yet, but it was true. No one cared and he was truly alone.

Jungkook took out his journal and wrote an entry.
Nothing gets better, it never does. If I cut too deep, it will all end but what about the ARMYS that say I love you? I just want someone to tell me, I've done well and that I'm doing good. But I'm alone, no one in BTS knows about my little side or even the depressed side of me, I've taken the caregiver role that makes my headspace worse but they don't know and they will not know until it's too late. Too late will be very soon, I just know it.
I just want someone there for me, to love me and to care for me.
That pain from cuts and burns helps neutralise the mental pain that stays within the heart, thumping, not wanting to be in a world ever so cruel. My heart is yelling at the world, yelling why must life be so complicated and tiring. Why can't anyone hear me scream? Why can't I project myself? I just can't, I really cannot do this, can I?
I guess life is just not worth it.
-J.J.K

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