Blinded By Love | COMPLETED

Chapter 12

[ Justin ]

The wind blows a warm breeze into the living room. I stare outside the open window, waiting for the rain to come down. It feels warm outside, but the clouds tell me that's is going to change. Alyys still hasn't come home. It has been some hours since I have left Caleb his home, confused why she wasn't there next to me.

I look up when my phone starts buzzing. I'm not in the mood for conversations, so I wait until the screen turns dark. But it lights up again, now with more and more messages coming in. Messages from various people. Some of them asking if I have seen 'it', others sending me pictures and videos. Wait, what video?

I open one message with the video and click on it. Immediately I recognize the room. It is Caleb's living room, from the party last night. It zooms I'm into the crowd, and there they are. Alyys and Caleb, standing too close for my preference.

"What the hell..."

I can't believe my eyes when I see they start kissing. Alyys, kissing my best friend? Is she out of her mind? I don't even want to watch this stupid video anymore.

Out of anger, I throw my phone on the ground. How can he do this, how can she do this? I get a mug from the table and also throw it on the ground, following it with a scream. I don't stop screaming until my throat feels like it is burning.

My head feels numb, my mind does too. I feel so many emotions at once, but I also feel emotionless. I can't start crying, trust me I tried. My eyes stay dry.

[ Alyys ]

It is late in the afternoon when I decide to leave Maddie and go home. I really don't want to face him. I keep thinking about the person I saw, standing on the stairs and staring at me. I think they were holding a phone, but I can't remember it clearly. I hope no one filmed it because then I will be dead when I'm home.

I stare at the door before me. It is our door. I can turn around, go back and never face him ever. But that would make me a coward. I hear some stumbling and stuff breaking. This doesn't sound very good. Before I can even knock on the door, it gets opened and I stare into the furious eyes of Justin. Shit, somebody has filmed it.

Before I can even say hi he grabs me by my arm and pulls me inside. The door gets slammed shut and I feel his nails digging into my skin. The house looks like a mess. There are shatters everywhere, broken mugs and plates. Even his phone has cracks on the screen. I'm starting to get nervous. Nervous for what he might say or do. I get pushed on the couch and he grabs a chair,  sitting in front of me.

I can almost feel his anger. He stays silent for a minute, maybe longer.
"Justin..."

"Don't." I bite my lip and stare at the ground. My eyes try to find something to focus on. Maybe it will calm me down. Justin gets his phone off the ground and opens a text, showing it to me.

"Do you have any idea what it means?" The text says something about me and with it is a video.
"No?"
Justin clicks on the video and shows me. I feel disgusting, watching myself do this.

I look up at Justin. He is so angry, it kind of makes me scared. He almost throws his phone away when the video is done.
"It's not what it looks like..."
"It isn't?"
"No..."

He starts to laugh at me. The kind of laugh that makes you get goosebumps, that one laugh that makes him sound even more frustrated then he already is.
"Well, it looks like you were kissing my best friend. And I think that speaks for itself."

My mind is going crazy, trying to make up sentences to say. Something that makes sense.
"I, I was so drunk Justin. I didn't know why I did that..."

"Maybe because you like kissing other boys? Maybe you don't like me anymore. Just say it."
I try to take deeper breaths. My head feels light and I can't control my breathing anymore.

Please don't let this happen right now. Tell me this is a nightmare.
"What? No, Justin, I love you!"

"Well, it doesn't look like it!"
He stands up and raises his hand. My mind goes blank. My hands are shaking at this point and my palms are sweaty. Tears are finding there way out and make my cheeks feel wet. His sudden movement scares me and I close my eyes. Waiting for the hit, waiting for the pain.

But there is no pain. I open my eyes a little bit. In front of me sits a little girl on the chair. A man stands before her, yelling at her. He throws his bottle of beer on the ground, making her feel so small and scared.

My heart is beating so fast, it feels like it is going to explode. Is it even my heart? The little girl has vanished and I sit in her chair now, feeling so small and scared. The man in front of me is my dad. He raises his hand, I close my eyes. And there is the pain.

It feels like I wake up when I open my eyes again, but it was only a stupid flashback. Instead of the man, Justin is standing in front of me. His eyes seem red like he cried. I lay my hand on my cheek, but there is no painful spot. My hand gets wet from all the tears. I feel so guilty, so disgusting.

"I am so sorry... I should have stayed with you."
I feel his eyes staring at me. It gets followed by an uncomfortable silence, lasting long enough for us both to think.

I stare at my shaking hands. The tears have stopped. Justin stands up and walks into the kitchen. I hear him making coffee. One of the things he always does when he doesn't know what to do or say. I slowly stand up and grab some shattered glass. I feel shattered, just like those plates and mugs.

"You know I would never do that with the purpose of hurting you..."
"Hm..." I throw the pieces away, looking at him. I clean the rest of the house just so I have something to do.
"Maybe you should go to Maddie again."

Maybe I should. Maybe we should take a break, maybe we shouldn't. But I don't want to leave him, not now.

"I just got home."
"And you are scared of me," I look away.
"I saw it. I saw your shaky hands and uncontrollable breathing. So maybe you should go, so we can both think about this. About us."

I nod my head. I don't like to admit it, but maybe he's right.
"Ok, I will grab some clothes."

It is cold in our bedroom. I put some clothes in a bag. I'm not packing too much stuff, so I will have an excuse to come by and hopefully stay at that time. I don't know why I agreed to this.

I want to stay here, I want to stay with Justin. I'm having an anxious feeling inside of me. Please say that this isn't the end of us. I need him. I love him.

Justin still is in the kitchen when I put on my jacket.
"Call me, please." Justin only nods at me.

I don't care how much he hates me. I walk to him and push my lips shortly against his. I feel a tear streaming down his cheek. My eyes start to sting again and I quickly turn around, walking to the door.

I don't want to cry again. I close the door behind me and start to walk back to Maddie her house.
"Hey, it's me. Please tell me I can stay a few more days. Something has happened."