Blinded By Love | COMPLETED

Chapter 21

[ Justin ]

My head is pounding. I'm holding a sack full of ice against my jaw. I can't believe he actually did that. First I stab him, then he almost knocks me out. Where is this going? If this doesn't stop, we eventually will be killing each other.

With some help, I get up. I tell the boys that I'm ok and give them back the ice. We talk for a bit before I make my way back home.

I should have kept the ice. The pain in my jaw is becoming unbearable. My headache isn't getting less painful. I stare into nothingness while walking back where I came from.

I promised Alyys to get some drinks and food. There's no way I'm doing that right now. My mind is constantly repeating what Caleb said.
'She thinks you're cheating on her.'

It broke my heart hearing that. I know I'm not allowed to feel sorry for her. I did this. I made this mess. I started this all, this fighting. This doubt. But I do feel sorry for her.

I feel sorry that she thinks this way. I feel sorry that she is heartbroken over me. And I hate myself for it. I hate myself for allowing myself to do this. Having fun with them while I need to have fun with her. Holding them as I hold her. Kissing them as I kiss her. But it doesn't feel the same with them.

Alyys makes me feel safe. She makes me feel things, this I try to suppress. She knows how to calm me down when I come home mad. She knows how to make my mind go crazy about her. She knows everything.

How she knows how to tease me, not to get me angry but slightly irritated. How I hate it when she addresses me with my middle name. And how I tease her back by saying hers.

I can see her, walking into the bedroom. Already having a smile on her face.
"Justin Theodore Channing."

She can't help but laugh softly. I hate my middle name. It makes me look like a rich kid who got everything in life. Probably why I don't like my last name either. It sounds too formal.

"Yes, Alyys Morgan Parker?"
Her smile disappears from her face and I start to laugh. We both know it's a joke but still, so funny to see her face.

Walking up the stairs is more difficult than usual. My head makes me kind of dizzy and once in a while, I get black dots in my field of view. I reach the door and push it open. I hear some music coming from the living room and some soft singing too.

I get sad and angry at the same time. I want to cry in her arms and scream at her at the same time. I want her to tell me she's sorry. I want her to tell me why she said what she said to him.

She looks up when I walk into the living room.
"Hey, " her voice fades away when she sees me. She puts down the music and walks to me.

"What happened? Did you get into an accident?"
I shake my head and take a step back.

I'm not in the mood for talking right now. I walk to the kitchen and grab a towel, making it a bit wet. Carefully I clean the small wound on my jaw. I walk to the bathroom. It looks way less bad when the blood is gone. Alyys is still following me around, asking me what happened.

I feel a hand wrapping around my wrist when I try to walk past her again.
"This isn't funny anymore, Justin!"

I look up at her. She seems worried. Very, worried. She grabs the towel from my hand and carefully applies some pressure onto the wound.

"Careful, it hurts..."
"I can see that dummy," she chuckles while looking at me. "Am I getting an explication or not?"

We sit down at the couch, Alyys still making sure I don't bleed to death as she says.
"I had a fight with Caleb."

She stares at me with disbelief.
"You and Caleb, fought?" She starts to nervously laugh and shakes her head. "Good one, but I don't believe you." she says while continuing to clean the blood off my face.

"He told me some stuff."
I don't want to say it again, but I need to.
"Yeah? What did he say?"

She doesn't look up at me. I need answers.
"He told me, that you're thinking that I'm cheating on you."

It gets quiet. Alyys stops and it looks like time freezes. She avoids my eyes, staring right past them. At this moment, I knew she was making up a lie to save herself.

She knows I will get mad if she tells the truth. I look over at her. She's fighting back the tears, all the things she wants to say right it now.

"You guys had a fight before, he just wants to make you angry again..."
She mumbles while standing up and cleaning the towel. I said it, she's lying. I shake my head and wait for her to come back.

"Yeah we fought before, but these are things you don't lie about."
She looks at me for a second.

"Well, I think he's just jealous. Maddie told me he probably likes me, so..."

"So what?"

I know he likes her. You don't have to be a genius to see that. The way he looks at her. The way they talk, how he gets closer at every party.

I know that he is probably mad at me, for having her while he wants her. And he will try everything to get her to himself, I know that too.

"Don't believe him, he wants us to break up."
I don't believe what she's saying. I know she said what he told me. She has enough reasons to doubt me, to doubt us.

"So you didn't tell him that?"
She shakes her head and smiles at me.
"I would never."

We are all just ladies around her. Nobody believes nobody anymore. We all know we are lying too, but we are too afraid to say something about it. We are all just lying to save ourselves, not even thinking about what it would do to another person. We only care about ourselves these days.

How are we supposed to keep this relationship standing with all this lying?

I give her a smile back and watch her put on some kind of cream to help start the healing. My head is still pounding, but I don't know if it's from the fall or my thoughts right now. Alyys keeps reminding me that Caleb is just out of his mind crazy, and I act like I believe her.

I don't want to fight with her. I want to sleep, with her in my arms. Her hands running through my hair, calming me down just before I fall into a deep sleep.

But it was just a wish. That night we fell asleep, in the same bed. But my arms weren't wrapped around her. Her hands weren't going through my hair. Instead, we said goodnight, stared at the ceiling and waited for each other to fall asleep.

My arms beside me, her hands laying next to her. Not all wishes come though, I learned that the hard way. But secretly I hoped this one would. For at least one more night.