Blinded By Love | COMPLETED

Chapter 19

[ Alyys ]

"I think he's cheating on me."
I take a seat on the couch. Caleb just got out of the hospital and I just couldn't keep this to myself anymore.

Laying beside Justin in bed, thinking about the fact that another girl maybe has been in this bed too, with him. It makes me feel sick.
"You are kidding, right?"
Caleb laughs a little. Carefully, of course, he still needs to fully heal from the wound.

"No. I'm serious," I try to hold back the tears but it is so hard. "When I came from school he wasn't home until eleven or later, he always smelled like a woman's perfume and acted weird around me."

"I mean he could just be at parties?"
I shake my head. Should I tell him about the thing that happened yesterday? I bite my lip and look up when I feel Caleb laying his hand on mine.

"You know you can tell me anything, right?"
He's right. Maybe I should tell him, but he needs to promise me that he doesn't say anything to Justin.

"I mean, we had a little argue yesterday... It wasn't really big or something."
"Tell me. You look upset about it." He grabs my other hand and smiles at me. That damned smile always convinces me.

"I found a pair of bright pink, lace undies in the bedroom. It isn't mine." He starts to shake his head while looking at me.
"He tried to convince me into thinking I took it with me from Maddie her place, but she doesn't have those..."

A tear makes his way down my cheek without me even noticing it. All the anger and frustration from yesterday comes back again. Why cant he just me honest to me? He should tell me if he doesn't like me anymore, not giving me false hope. More tears make their way down.

I try to hide them and wipe them away, but he had already seen them and gently wipes them away.

"He isn't worth it Alyys."
I frown for a second. Did he really just say that?

"But I don't know for sure if he's cheating?"
"It's obvious, how would those undies get there if it wasn't him?"

Is he trying to make me end it with Justin? Or is he just being real? There are so many things going through my head, I can't think about what Caleb is trying to say.

"I'm not breaking up with him."
Caleb opens his mouth to say something back but stays silent. We stay silent for what feels like hours. I know he doesn't like my answer, but it's true. I'm not breaking up with Justin. Not yet.

"Why not? I know he's toxic, you know he is. Why would you stay with him?"
I stay silent and think about it. Why do I stay with him? All he does is get drunk and apologize the next morning for whatever he has done. But he isn't only bad. He can be sweet and careful.

"Because I love him. And he loves me like no one has ever done before."
"If he loves you so much, he wouldn't make you feel this way."

I can't leave him. He will be heartbroken if I do and I will be too. I love him with whole my heart and I can't imagine a life without him anymore.

I know he might be bad for me, but he isn't as bad as people think. He can be a sweetheart. He can be the most loving person you will ever meet. But I don't feel like I can trust him fully, at least not now.

I try to avoid eye contact with Caleb. I know he is looking at me, waiting for me to answer. I'm not going to answer because I don't know what to say to him. I came here for advice, for help. All I got are arguments about why I should break up with him.

What is Caleb trying to do? Make me and Justin fight again? I don't want to think about the fact that it is likely that he likes me, just like Maddie said. Otherwise, he wouldn't just kiss me when I was visiting him.

"Is it ok if I grab something to drink?"
Caleb nods his head and puts on some music to break the silence. I stand up and walk to the kitchen, grabbing a glass. I open the refrigerator and look inside. Cola, sparkling water, wine, some beers and weirdly he has orange juice.

I frown and grab the bottle. I'm not in the mood for something that contains alcohol or sparkling stuff, so orange juice it is. I also pour Caleb a glass and walk back.

"From all the things you could choose, you choose orange juice?"
I give him his glass and sit down again.
"I'm not in the mood to get drunk."
I stare at the glass. I listen to the music and try to focus on the lyrics.

Maybe this would be the perfect time to get drunk, to forget about all the stuff. But I've told myself to never, ever drink to push away feelings or thoughts. I don't want to end up like my dad.

Caleb puts on the television and I look up when the light shines into my eyes. We still haven't talked much, so I decided to watch and see what he's going to do. He grabs the remote and moves a bit so he can sit up straight.

I quickly put away my glass and help him. He mumbles something about that he can do it himself and I chuckle softly. I watch the screen turn black and the red letters of Netflix appear on the screen.

"Because you're in a bad mood, we are going to watch your favorite series."
I shake my head and sit down. I'm definitely not in the mood for this either. Caleb looks up Lucifer and I laugh a bit.
"How do you know that?"

"Because before Justin, you couldn't stop talking about how you thought how handsome Lucifer was."
We both start to laugh, Caleb quitting shortly after before he gets to much pain. How did he even remember that? That was like, only a month before I met Justin and that's almost a year ago!

I remember seeing Justin for the first time. At a party, of course. He had some chick hanging around him, but every time I looked, he looked back. Maddie eventually convinced me to go and talk to him. I was scared to death of course, why would a guy like him stare at me like that?

He obviously knew I thought he was cute. But I would never think he would think the same way about me. And that's when it all started. We went on a date, had sleepovers, going on a trip together. I knew he was just perfect.

And how we're here. Accusing the perfect guy of cheating on me. I look at the screen again. I didn't even realize Caleb had already started one episode and I quickly make it look like I'm totally listening to it.

I grab a blanket and make myself comfortable. I look over at Caleb and he has clearly already forgotten everything. He smiles back and continues to watch the screen. Maybe I should do the same thing. Just forget everything.