Blinded By Love | COMPLETED

Chapter 23

[ Alyys ]

My world has stopped. Nothing is in slow motion anymore. It just stands still. My eyes are wide open. I stare right into the eyes of Maddie, sitting on the cabinet, next to the sink. Still her hands around his waist. Justin has turned around and has started talking to me. But I hear nothing.

I hear the muffled sound of his voice. My head starts to make op scenes. Scenes of them, what they did right before I walked in. Scenes what they would do if I didn't open that door. How I would have never known.

Everything starts to get more clear. My head doesn't feel heavy anymore. My ears are slowly absorbing all the sounds, making them louder and louder. My hands start to shake. I have no idea if it is because of all the alcohol or me being in shock.

I stand there for a minute, maybe two. Listening to all the things Justin tells me. How he loves me. How he is drunk out of his mind, how he did this party drug and now has no idea what he is doing. How he doesn't want to lose me.

I start to get dizzy. Everything around me starts to spin. It suddenly hits me. He kissed my best friend. I hold the door frame. I start to hyperventilate. My chest begins to hurt and my head keeps telling me I need to get out.

I slowly turn around and take a step towards the hallway. I still haven't said a word to them. Maddie walks toward me and grabs my arm.
"Alyys, please... It isn't what it looked like..."

Is this how it feels like to be heartbroken? To feel your heart shatter in pieces. How the pieces hit your stomach. How it makes you feel so incredibly sick. My feelings have completely disappeared. Stars are appearing in my vision. I feel my heart getting heavy again. Not from the alcohol this time. But from the disappointment. In myself and in him.

I should have known. I saw all the signs. The panties. The parties and alcohol abuse. The coming home late and smelling like a woman's perfume. How could I be so stupid? Thinking I could fix this. Could fix us. How could I think I could fix him.

I pull my arm away from Maddie. I look into her eyes, seeing all the guilt.
"I have to go..."

I mumble before walking back into the hallway. I need to get out of here. Out of this house. I push people away and ignore the cussing I get back from it. Walking isn't a problem anymore. I make my way down the stairs and look at all the people. They all have no idea what just happened.

I try to push myself through the crowd. People aren't moving and I keep getting beers and mix drinks over me. I don't want to be here anymore. I need to get out. I can't breathe in here.

My chest feels like it is burning from the inside. It feels like my heart has been set on fire. I push people away and almost run out of the house. I take a few deep breaths. I can feel myself getting more sick every second.

I don't even care anymore. I let myself fall down next to a bush and start to cry when my body pushes every drop of alcohol out of my stomach. My throat starts to burn even more and my vision starts to get blurry. A mix of tears, vomit and heartbroken screams get out of my body.

My hands are uncontrollably shaking and I can't hold on to the ground. Tears make their way down my cheeks like my own small rivers. My stomach hurts from all the pressure.

I feel empty. Empty and numb. Everything hurts. I stay on the ground what feels like hours, trying to make myself feel again. But I can't. It is like when I saw them, every last bit of hope and happiness has been sucked out of me. And I don't know how to get back. He was my happiness. He was my everything. And now I lost it. How do you live, if you lose everything?

I feel myself getting drowsy again. My feet try to get themselves under my body, forcing me to get up. My head starts spinning and my vision gets blurry again. I try to grab something but there's nothing. Only a simple bush. My balance slowly gets better and better. I carefully take a few steps.

I need to get away from here. I don't ever want to be here again. All the memories I have with Maddie go through my mind. All the time we had so much fun. How could my own best friend, hurt me in the worst way possible?

It feels like my body and mind aren't a whole anymore. My body does what it has to do. It takes me somewhere. Somewhere I don't even know. My feet are moving, my eyes show me where I am. My mind is still in shock. Screaming from the inside.

One side, yelling at me, why I even trusted him. Telling me all the signs again. Asking me how I could be so stupid. How I could have let it get this far.

The other side, trying to comfort me. Tell me how it isn't my fault. How it wasn't my fault that I thought I could change him. It's who I am.

My feet have stopped working. I try to make them work again. Before I know, my face hits the cold and wet grass. Everything starts to spin even more than it already did. I roll over on my back and wipe some grass from my face. I stare at the sky above me.

Pitch black with little bright spots in it. I reach up, comparing how small they look. I start to giggle a little, wishing how I was a star right now. Wishing I would be up there, in the sky. Maybe my heart wouldn't feel so heavy up in the sky.

My feet start working again when I start to shiver. I start to make my way into a neighborhood. All the lights are out, except for one house. My body feels cold and I want to warm up. My mood starts to get better and I don't feel drowsy anymore. I even start to giggle to myself while I walk towards the house.

I get to the door and push it a little. I frown when it opens, but immediately understand why it's open. Loud music meets my ears again, and I start to giggle again.

My body tells me to go inside. My mind tells me I need to go home. But home isn't fun. This is fun. I push the door further open. People make some space for me to get in and I close the door behind me when I get inside.

A smile appears on my face when I hear the music and I make my way over to the homemade bar. I grab a random drink and step onto the dance floor. I chug my drink at once and start to dance.

Every negative feeling falls off me. I can't stop laughing and already have people dancing with me. Everything looks like it is going in slow motion again. Only happy people are here. And it makes me happy. I grab another drink from someone and take a sip. I see in the corner of my eye a boy walking towards me. I don't really care about it and continue dancing, having the time of my life.

I startle when I feel a hand wrapping around my arm. I look over and stare into those blue eyes. They look like they are moving, like the sea. I giggle and point at them, trying to tell the person that he has ocean eyes.

"Alyys? What the hell is wrong with you?"
It is only now that I see his face. Caleb looks at me with the most anxious look on his face every.

"What do you mean? I feel amazing!"
I start to dance again but get stopped by Caleb.
"What did you take? This isn't just alcohol Aly..."

That was the salty taste. That wasn't just alcohol. That little bottle, that wasn't alcohol. I start to panic again when I realize I got drugged. My heart starts to pound and suddenly I feel like throwing up again. Caleb notices how I am getting more and more white. He pulls me to the side.

"Are you ok?"
I nod my head and look at my hands. They have started to shake again. I let out a breath and I look up at him.

Caleb keeps asking me is something happened but everything sounds muffled again. I stare into his eyes, seeing them move again. I feel like I'm drowning in his ocean eyes. I can't help but smile. I let go of the wall and take a step into his direction, quickly grabbing his arm before I fall over.

"You really need to go home."
I shake my head and look up again. I start to giggle and go stand on my tippy toes. His eyes are almost at the same height as mine and I feel myself sinking away more and more. My hands place themselves on his chest and I can feel his heart pounding too.

"Alyys... Don't do this..."
But I can't help it. Before I know it our faces are getting closer and closer, both knowing where this is ending.