Chapter 14

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Everything seemed to go back to the way it was. im back to being the nobody, I haven't seen Ryder including class and I haven't seen the guys either.  My locker has been filled with notes but there aren't as many as before. molly and joey, including there friends, haven't bothered me at all which is a plus but like always I know something big is coming. 

Every day after school for the past couple of days Michael has picked me up and taken me to the gym to teach me more self-defense and release some anger. He had noticed right when I had lashed out on him that I haven't been taking my medication. Of course, we had a short conversation about it.

Michael has helped me upstairs and into my room, as my tears stopped falling and we were now sitting on my bed in silence.

"Bella, I know that you haven't been taking your medication and I want to know why," Michael said calmly even though I know he is slightly mad at me for not taking them. 

I sighed, "I don't like them," I said, stating the obvious.

"Why?"

"I don't feel like me when I'm on them," I said hoping that made sense to him.

Michael grew quiet processing everything that I had just said. It was all new coming, I never told him how I felt. The only person that knows how I feel about them is Ryder.

"You've never felt that way before," he said.

"I-I know I just I don't know I don't like them I never really did. I mean I know that they are supposed to help me but I don't want to become dependent on them." The more I talked the more I was starting to wonder, "like shouldn't I be trying to control the anxiety attacks without medication. I understand the sleep one however I just-"

"Bella," Michael said cutting off my rant, "I understand what you're saying, but you can't just stop taking your medication. You have to talk to your doctors about this so they can help you," he explained.

"But wouldn't they just see me as a rebellious teenager?" I asked. Telling my doctors that I don't want to take my medication because there changing me or because I feel like im becoming too dependent on them sounds like a bunch of excuses.

Michael frowned, "they might, but they need to know how you feel about them," he said and I nodded knowing what I had to do.

"Does your father know?" he asked making me shake my head, "I didn't want him to worry, he already has enough on his plate with his business," I said.

Michael sighed, "you should tell him he has a right to know," and I nodded. "Now about what we could do about your anger we could continue our lessons again at the gym every day after school for an hour or two," I was honestly completely okay with that.

So here I am on Friday afternoon waiting outside the school for Michael to come and pick me up. I just got a text from Michael saying that he will be a couple of minutes late due to traffic. I knew it was going to be a while so I took out my headphones and plugged them in and put my music on.

A couple of minutes later I felt a presence near me but I completely ignored it not wanting anything to do with anyone. But of course the person isn't getting the hint, "hey Bella," I heard from next to me. I turned and faced the person only to come face to face with Brian. I looked at him for a second then turned back and started to play on my phone.

"Listen, Bella, we need to talk it's about Ryder," I froze. Why does he want to talk to me about Ryder? I mean he was the one that left not me. Why should we be talking about him?

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