coffee shop / solby

¿ 16 ?

sam:
"i-i don't know why you did this. i don't know if it was something i did, or if it was the thing with jake, or if it was something i don't know about. i just feel so.. so guilty. i shouldn't have let you go home alone, i should've insisted i went with you, or we went to mine. it's my fault. i could've prevented this. god, i don't even know if you can hear me. you've gone unconscious again. i-i love you and this is the closest i've ever been to losing you, and i never ever want to go through it again. it's horrible. i feel helpless, like i can't do anything to help you. and it hurts. it hurts to not be able to do anything. it hurts to see the one man i love i'm so much pain, and discomfort, and just in such a bad situation. you don't deserve any of the bad things that somehow get thrown your way, you're too.. too perfect. too precious. too pure for anything to hurt you. i love you so, so much, colby. and i still have no clue wether you can hear anything i'm saying. but i never want to go through this pain again, i never want to see you in so much pain again, it hurts me in every single way possible," i kept my eyes closed as colby ranted, and i felt so incredibly guilty. i shouldn't have done this. i was selfish.
"i'm so sorry," i choked out, opening my eyes and squeezing his hand.
"oh my god, you're ok, thank god. it's ok, it's ok. i just want to know.. why? was it something i did?" he said quietly, the only sound in the room being his voice, my breathing and the beep of the iv.
"no, no. don't you ever think for a single second that this was your doing. i don't even know why i did it.. i haven't done it for years. it's a part of my p-past that haunts me, and i hate myself for doing it. jake played a big part in it, but none, absolutely none, of it was down to you. you are the best thing in my life, never doubt that," i shook my head gently.
"i love you," his breath and words hitched in his throat and he looked at me with tear glazed eyes.
"i love you too," i lifted my good hand and stroked the side of his cheek softly, both of us leaning in, leading to a passionate, caring kiss.
"i'm so, so sorry, colby. i never meant to put you through this," i frowned, pulling away, moving my hand.
"i-it's ok," he said quietly, taking my hand in his and massaging the back of it with his thumb softly.
"could you scratch my head for me please? i'm tired," i yawned, him nodding with a soft smile. he dragged his hand up to my head and basically just gave me a head massage, the good feeling pushing me towards sleep in an instant.

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i'm gonna cri