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Countless hours gone like the wind. Her mind in an endless and aimless labrinth. She didn't know how to escape and neither does she want to leave. The pain is unbearable rendering her motionless for long spans of time. At least she knew that her feelings for Hvitserk are real and thinking about him, even if it hurts, made her feel closer to him. She lost a part of her that she'll never have again.
Sat down on the morning dewy grass, Rosaline remains silent as she watches three small children run around the courtyard with everlasting gleam on their faces. Their innocent laughter echoes vibrantly through any privileged ears upon hearing them. There is no danger that awaits, only a peaceful utopia the children imagined for themselves.
Rosaline envies the simpler times. She wishes she was younger like her niece and nephews. Of course, her life isn't as loving and perfect as the three but she didn't have much to worry about. A life filled without any worries, responsibility, or choices. Rosaline indulges herself in the present and no mind to the ambient future. At times when she was younger, she felt free like a bird. She was a bird that was able to sing all day long because there weren't any restrictions in the sky. She's not a free bird anymore but caged in her atmosphere of reality.
A life in Frankia simpler without Hvitserk. Her life laid out perfectly and there were no complications. She was meant to marry a prince and live in court for the rest of her life. Wealth would surround her until she grew old and weak. Her children would be royalty and have power over the politics of the continent. Her life could have been planned out like her mother had hoped. However, Rosaline decided that life was never meant for her. It would have been easy, but she would regret it until death releases her from the contract.
She sacrificed so many things to be with Hvitserk, but she'll never regret them in her lifetime. He showed her a new outlook upon the grueling world and made it beautiful for her. He gave her an experience worth living. Hvitserk taught her how to love, taught her how to live, and taught her how to survive in a dull world. As much as she wants to hate him for leaving, she could never regret choosing or loving him.
"Rosaline, why don't you play with us," William called out as he ran up towards the young lady. Rosaline smiles fondly at the young prince and pats the small area next to her. William willingly sat down with big brown curious eyes.
"I would love to play but my body wouldn't allow me," she said truthfully. William understands what Rosaline is implying and glances down at her stomach.
"I hope it's a boy so I can show him how to fight. What name will you give the baby?" William said, lifting his arm out, showing Rosaline his imaginary muscles. The small gesture made her stifle a laugh at her companion.
She gently pinch his left cheek at how cute he is. She wishes that he'll always remain this naive and good hearted, "It's too early for names."
"If it's a boy, you should name him William, after me," The young prince smiled brightly.
"I will keep that in mind," Rosaline spoke, "William is a very strong and handsome name for a boy." William couldn't agree more to what Rosaline said.
"How long will you stay Rosaline? I don't want you to leave," William mutters as he picks at the grass next to him. Rosaline feels guilty hearing those words come from the small boy's mouth. It must've hurt William when she left because it meant that he lost a friend to play with.
"I don't know when I'll leave but if I do, you have to be strong. You have your siblings to keep you company," Rosaline responded. She didn't want William to have too much faith in her staying long. She couldn't stay here forever.
William nodded and went back to playing with his siblings. Their laughter echoed louder than before, putting a genuine smile on Rosaline's face. She could stay here for hours on end listening and watching them have a joyous time. Her mind trails off wondering if her child would be the same. Her child with Hvitserk.
Then it hits again. A wave of grief washed over her. Rosaline closes her eyes, taking a deep breath as she shakingly bites her lower lip. A few loose tears trail down her cheeks. The crushing deep void in her chest expands. The weight of shame upon her shoulder is too heavy to carry. She misses him. She wonders if he misses her.
