Driving Force

chapter 3

As we get ready to head to breakfast, I collect the rest of my things for the bus later before reaching for my medication. I open the bottle and put a pill into my hand to take but see I only have four pills left in the bottle. I sigh before I put the pill in my hand back in the bottle and curse as I did the same thing the day before. The money I gave mom was supposed to cover my refill, but now I have to spread these last few pills out until I can afford it again. Nobody really knows I take medication or have a medical condition except the medical staff, Dawn, and Vlatko. I haven't stopped taking the medication in a long time.

"Fuckkkk." I close my eyes and just pray I don't have a seizure later today.

"Come on, Mads!" Sonnet barges in the room. "You are quick on the field but a slow poke off the pitch. I'm hungry."

"Sonny, shut up and let's go." I laugh putting up my facade and shoving her out my room.

Soon we finish breakfast and have two hours before we leave and another hour and a half until the game starts. I'm starting again today, but I know playing is going to affect me later. I'm deciding whether or not to sit this one out. I know better than to put myself at risk, but if I do sit out people are going to start to question why. I start to think about the last time I stopped and how quick the seizures came along. The seizures I have aren't the ones you think of where I jerk my limbs and body violently and go unconscious. I'm conscious for the ones I have and just zone out for a couple of seconds before coming to. They are called simple focal seizures. You wouldn't notice I had one unless you knew what they looked like.

Soon we are on the bus and I place my headphones in my ear and play music so I don't stress and trigger an attack. I decided to play. I told myself if I felt off or had one on the pitch I would come off right away. I just needed to get some play time in. It's a stupid decision, but what a life without stupid choices.

"Dunn!" I shout and point to my right for her to pass me the ball. She does exactly that and I dribble the ball down the field passing players from the opposing team. Everyone is covered and I only have two defenders to beat so I take my chances. Faking out the first one by faking right and going left, I make it to the top of the box. I see the second defender come in slow motion and I know she is going to go for a slide tackle. I push the ball slightly out of her reach and hop over her body. I collide my foot with the ball for it to find the back of the net putting us on the scoreboard 1-0. I feel the team embrace me in their arms as I scored my first goal for the national team.

"You did it, kid!" Kelley jumps on me. "Your mom would be so proud."

"Madi!"

"You did it!"

"Congrats, kid!"

I hear multiple members congratulate me. Even Naeher meets me at the midfield line embracing me in a hug. Wow the adrenaline rush was something else. We continue only 30 mins into the first half. We stop as the trainers run to an opposing team player who went down after a nasty tackle. I went to Naeher and talked to her about how good she was doing.

"You scored your first national team goal!" She says more excited for me than the amazing saves she had in this game.

"Do you smell that?" I ask as I can only describe the smell as burnt toast.

"Smell what?" Naeher questions me.

"B- t-" I try to get the words out but I can't. Everything sounds muffled.

"You okay?" Lys says as she sees me struggling to get the words out.

After a few seconds, I am finally able to get the words I wanted out. "I'm fine. I'm good."

"You sure? The game is about to resume." She says pointing as the trainer from the other team gets off the field.

I nod and I stand there for a couple of seconds before I felt light headed and nauseous. I needed to get off the pitch now. Unfortunately, the ref already blew the whistle continuing the game. I didn't care as my only focus was getting off the pitch.

"Marshall what are you doing?" I hear my teammates shout. I ignored them and somehow made it to the sidelines almost stumbling on my feet. I see Vlatko about to rip me a new one.

I signal for him to bend down so I can whisper in his ear. "I had a seizure."

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what i write is fan-fiction so please if something isn't accurate don't attack me. i know enough about medicine just enough to write about it. do not stop your medication without a doctors approval. also everyone's seizures are different but if you have constructive criticism or want to educate me some more i am all ears.

Both chapters were short so I decided to be nice and upload both ;)

much love and stay safe,
-AK