Opposites Attract | Wroetoshaw/Sidemen

14

My name is Kelli Wills. This is my story.

Maybe I'm only doing this because someone told me something I didn't want to hear, even if it was the truth. Something I buried deep inside me, something I wanted to forget.

But things like this are hard to forget, as much as it pains you and no matter how hard you try, it's always with you.

Maybe this might encourage people to speak up, to stop people going through the same things I went through, maybe help them overcome it.

When I was born I was instantly treated different by my parents because I wasn't what they wanted. They already had a boy and hoped for another. They told me this to my face. Almost every day.

They treated me poorly. Like I didn't belong here. They didn't want me growing up to be successful because that was my brothers to achieve. They wanted nothing to do with me, wanted me out of the way to watch my brother grow and accomplished all.

Maybe they thought I was going to grow up to be useless so just didn't bother with me. Maybe it's because I was a girl, even though my mother was part of the family. I remember her saying she didn't want any girls because she wanted to be the most successful woman in the family, raising two freaking prime ministers or lawyers or doctors.

I felt a tear try to escape. I wasn't going to let it. I had to be strong for everyone else going through this. I had to be the voice of hope, not show them I was in fear.

They barely fed me, never gave me gifts on Christmas or my birthday. I don't think they even acknowledged it for the five years I lived with them.

If I didn't do as I was told I would be slapped. I was shouted at and spat at, they would say things like I was good for nothing, for no one. Because I didn't get as good grades as my brother. I was only four. Because I wasn't what they wanted, I don't think it mattered that I was young. I was a girl and they thought I would never be as good as my brother, they gave up on me as soon as I was born. They gave me no chance to show them I could succeed.

They knew if they didn't care for me as much as needed, child services would find out and send them away. They just wanted what was best for my brother, not caring how I turned out. It never was quite clear to me why they were so against me. Maybe that's what made it worse. I was just punished for being within meters of my brother, not wanting him to mix with my stupid brain.

Wait a minute, I remember a little bit more. It was something about what I did when I was younger. I remember playing with my brothers Lego's and building something really cool. It was because I was smart. I could state my abcs as quick as possible, being only two.

They were scared I would turn out better than my brother, all their time and effort going into him being the perfect and best.

So they pushed me to the sides, making sure to spend as much time on my brother as possible.

It all makes sense now. It wasn't because I was a girl, it was because I was smart and they didn't like that. They wanted my brother to be the best, putting all their devotion and help into him from the beginning. They had faith in him and forgot about me. Maybe that still isn't clear enough for me but and never will me but I won't ever forget the pain they put me through. Neglecting me. The words they called me. It never leaves.

I became depressed. And I was only five. I gave up learning and just sat around thinking about my future. Maybe I was famous, maybe I was a vet. It always changed. I enjoyed thinking about it because for a brief moment I forgot about the present.

But the reality kicked back in when I got home. They were harsh on me for my abilities. Seems so stupid. They were adults and couldn't handle two people to be successful. Why is that? Mainly me becoming successful because they wanted nothing more for their favourite child to be forever in the spotlight. It's so stupid.

I promised myself I wouldn't cry. Have to be strong for anyone watching, you know? I'm finding that very hard at the moment, haha.

By the age of five, I was kicked out and most likely erased from the family. I was sent to a private school, and they were stupid enough to not know you don't sleep at a private school.

Within private school I gained one friend. I won't say her name, I don't even know if she remembers me. I told her everything, about me being homeless, about my family, everything. She was my best friend and I trusted her like no one before. Guess you can tell where this goes. As we grew older she become more popular, wanting me to join her and change who I am to please others. Long story short she back stabbed me and told everyone my deepest secret. Never trusted anyone since, only up until now I'm starting to again which is good.

So I was forced to sleep on the streets. Forced to survive on barely any food and water for many days. I had to drink rainwater, luckily the uk is full of it. I was forced to steal and get caught, luckily I was never charged. They felt bad for the five year old so sometimes let me, not enough though. I was struggling. Very badly. Until a very generous and kind lady helped me. Saved me even. Told me about trading with others and begging for money. I'm thankful for her every single day of my life.

As I grew older I was starting to become more severely depressed and lonely, taking drugs from strangers and multiple times nearly accidentally overdosing on sleeping pills. It was a dark time for me. But there is always light at the end of the tunnel.

It's been eighteen years, and my life took a turn for the best. I met some of the nicest pellet I've ever met. It's hard to describe them in words, honestly. They saw me desperate need and allowed me into their apartment. I'm thankful for them every single day of my life too.

I'm a very lucky girl. I'm smart enough to know that. So I wanted to share my story with everyone to tell them your not alone. Don't ever give up.

Somehow I never lost hope, not even when my life seemed it wouldn't get any brighter, even when I believed my tunnel had no light. I encourage you to do the same.

I'm rooting for you. Keep up the good work and don't be afraid to contact me if you ever need.

Take care everyone.

Guess my mysterious title didn't last long.