Exported [Book 3 in the Expiring Series]

72 My Fear

Iris~~

Half-asleep and seated in the middle of a rounded booth at the back of a crowded restaurant, I lean against Jonas. I'm still in my ruined dress. I can't even begin to express how much I want to put on a pair of cotton pajamas. Jonas is so damn comfortable compared to that cell that I've only been able to rally myself a few times to eat any of my three pancakes.

I'm tempted to ask him to feed me himself.

I really am out of shape.

Every so often Jonas eats a bite from my pancakes, but his appetite isn't present. He didn't order anything for himself either. He insists nothing is wrong, but Jonas is the type to keep things bottled up so he doesn't worry anyone else.

Sebastian and Erik sit next to each other, letting one another try the other's burger. Sebastian found his bacon burger, and Erik got a burger that has glazed doughnuts for buns. Tobias can't stop throwing disgusted looks at it.

With his fork, Erik spears lettuce and chicken from Tobias's salad. He points the fork at me and Bently and asks, "What was it like down there?" before putting it in his mouth.

Bently's eyes flick to mine. "I don't want to talk about it." He cuts up his steak—the steak he's been complaining about since it was set in front of him. It's too dry. It's too tough. Can this really be called a steak? Compared to the sludge we were fed down there, that steak would taste like a miracle to me—but I'm currently about to fall asleep in a plate of syrup; now isn't the time for a steak. Bently had been dining high and mighty after he made his deal with Odette. He's had time to become picky again. I need to ask him about that deal. And I have to tell Jonas about that first kiss.

Across from us, Gwen and Alastairi Moretti haven't said much, focused on their own meals. Gwen got a turkey wrap, and since Amoria doesn't have turkeys, as I just learned, Alastairi ordered the same.

"What about you, Iris?" Erik sets down his fork. "Are you going to talk?"

I swallow the lump in my throat, casting my eyes to the far wall. "I watched person after person die, and I was powerless to stop it." My jaw trembling, I bite my lip to hide it. At least Mid'haa is alive. At least Odette held to her game and didn't take back my prize. "They were meaningless deaths." Gripping the edge of the seat, I pull myself into an upright position. My eyes narrow. "I want Odette's cell carved with the names of her victims." Everyone is silent. They set their utensils down and stare at me. "I never want her to forget them." Picking up my fork, I examine the prongs and remember stabbing Odette with the snail fork. "Do you think a memorial will be built?" In my mind, I see Ines and recall that she had a husband and baby.

"I'm sure there will be," Sebastian says.

"I want to be there when it's unveiled."

Jonas slips his hand into mine. "If Alix lets us back into the country, we'll be there. I promise."

I squeeze his hand, blinking back tears. How can I tell any of them that I fear I will watch each and every one of those deaths in my dreams for the rest of my life? That eventually I'll be driven mad, and Odette will have won in the end?

When imagining this chapter before I wrote it, all I could picture was the shawarma scene at the end of Avengers.

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