Dancing with a Stranger

Chapter One

May 25, 2018 – Where It All Began

BANG! BANG! BANG!

I wake up with a jump as the sounds of gunshots shock me out of my sleep. I take a few moments to get my bearings outside of the nightmare that has been an annual recurrence for me. The anniversary of my parents' death always brings with it the haunting memories of our final moments together.

I take a few deep breaths and count down from twenty in an effort to calm my racing heart. It has been like this every year since their deaths. I can't believe they've been gone for so long.

I roll over and pick up my phone to see what time it is. Six-thirty. Even when I take the day off from work, my body will not let me sleep in. I put the phone back and roll over again to try to go back to sleep, even though I know it is a lost cause. Eighteen years and the pain is still deep. I feel the tears spill from my eyes and I let them fall. Over the years, I've learned that it's best to just get my ugly-girl cry out when it wants to because trying to stop it is like trying to stop Niagara Falls.

I sob and sob as the events of that night play out in my head. If only I had known then that that would be the last time I saw my parents, I would have done everything differently. Every year, this same thought runs through my mind and every year, the same response comes back at me. No, you wouldn't, you did exactly as you were told, and you'd do it again, over and over. That's just who you are.

I must have cried myself back to sleep because I was woken up by the shrill sound of my ringtone. Aunt Charlotte. The only person who overrides the "Do not disturb" setting on my phone. "Hi Lottie." I flop onto my back and put on speakerphone.

"Good morning, Lacey dear," her voice chirped cheerily through the speakers. "Did you finish your ugly-cry yet?"

"How did you know I was ugly-crying?"

"Lacey, I've raised you since you were eight years old," she began, "and you've done this every year on this date without fail. You wouldn't be you if you didn't."

"Thanks for making me sound like the Times Square Ball."

She laughs on the other side of the phone before continuing. "You know I don't mean it like that. You're just predictable. And it's understandable considering everything you've gone through. There's safety in knowing what lies ahead."

"That's me," I reply with sarcasm, "old reliable."

"That's why I love you, dear," she chuckles. "Have you got any plans for the day?"

"Just what I typically do on their anniversary; sit and cry and eat lots of ice cream."

I hear her sigh on the other side of the phone. "How about we switch it up for a change?"

"I like how you say we as though you don't live four hundred kilometers away."

Leave it to Aunt Charlotte to try to get me out of my comfortable routine and try something new. As my mother's only sibling, they had been quite close even though they were so different. Where Mom liked stability and routine, Aunt Charlotte craved flexibility and spontaneity. I used to love when I spent time with her as a child but also found that I missed the security of structure and rules that my life at home provided. When she became my legal guardian, we both had some adjusting to do but we made it work. Her first rule: "Call me Lottie. I know your mother insisted on it, but I'm far too young for this Aunt Charlotte business."

This is the first anniversary of their deaths that I am living away from her and I think it is hard on us both. We have been each other's lifelines since that day.