Star Wars: Imagines/One-Shots

{Din Djarin}

Whenever the kid smiles, he sees you. Whenever the sound of laughter rings through his ears, he hears your hearty laugh replaying in his mind.

     Everything about the child reminds him of you, of the life he promised you. He promised you the galaxy, but he wasn't fast enough, wasn't strong enough, and wasn't skilled enough to save the only person who he would say he truly loved. Now, as the child coos in his sleep, the Mandalorian, seated in the cockpit of his ship, the Razorcrest, he allows himself to relive the day, the moment, he lost you.

•••

The war was over. The Rebels had somehow won, causing celebrations to break out across the galaxy. Including on the planet of Nevarro. As one of the only Mandalorians allowed above ground, Din Djarin was enjoying watching the sights of fireworks and the sounds of laughter from his favorite rooftop in the city. It was helpful to have a bird's eye of the city, if not to spot danger, then to find you, dancing with some of the townsfolk in the square.

As your figure weaved in and out of the crowd, he took note of how you seemed to float with each step you took. Just when you had begun to stop, your eyes locked with his through the helmet he kept over his face at all times. He grinned as you sent him a wink, almost daring him to come down and join the fun.

     Looking back, he should've joined you, let his stoic reputation fall for a single night so he could've been by your side when tragedy struck.

     However, Din was so entranced by you that he let his guard fall. He missed the rooftop in front of him come alive with light as figures dressed in Empire regalia open-fired on the celebratory crowd. Within an instant, the crowd fell into chaos. Screams echoed throughout the city as bodies fell to the ground, lifeless.

     Instantly, he searched for you amongst the crowd, but when he couldn't find you, he went into hysteria. The Mandalorian called out your name as he made his way to the square where he had last seen you smiling and laughing. The shots rang out again as the second wave hit. By now, the square was clearing out. However, a child screamed in the middle of the clearing as its mother lay face down in a puddle of red.

     The next moments happened as if they were in slow motion. Din saw the terrorists raise their blasters at the same time he saw your beautiful face appear from the crowd, your arms pushing others out of the way as you raced towards the child still in the line of fire. He was all the way across the square when the blasters went off.

     You shoved the child out of harms way as you took one last look at your love, your precious Din, as you took the blasts meant for the child. Your body hit the ground before he could reach you.

     He was hoping to find a pulse, a breath, or any sign that you were still alive, that this was another one of your many pranks. He prayed to the Force, if it was even out there that you would open your eyes and say "gotcha" with a smile adorning your face. However, he was met with a lifeless, limp body that once was the gorgeous woman he had fallen so hard for.

     For the first time in his life since becoming a foundling, he wept. The Mandalorian allowed himself to cry as he held you close, one last time. He stroked your hair and held your forehead to his helmet like he had so often when he was able to sneak away from the guild. You hadn't ever understood the meaning of the gesture, but to him, it meant the everything he was never able to speak aloud. I love you.

•••

Even now, years later, tears stream down his covered face. I'm sorry, ____. I'm so sorry.

All of the sudden, he feels a soft pressure on his hand. Out of habit, he flinches, drawing back his hand. However, when he looks up, he sees the child with a tear rolling down his small face, threatening to drip off of his chin. The child looks at Din with sad eyes that reflect his own. The realization finally strikes him.

"You saw all of that, didn't you?" The kid looks down, avoiding the question, so he asks again, "Did you see what happened that night?"

The child manages the smallest nod. After a brief moment, he reaches out for Din's hand. Against his instinct, the Mandalorian lets the child hold his hand, just like you once had all that time ago...

author's note:
someone take all sad music away from me! i'm becoming my own worst nightmare, an angst junkie!!
May the Force be with you!
- Sarah