By New Year's Eve.

Chapter 18 - Olivia

Excitement. That is what I have been feeling. I am going to my first ever winter ball and I couldn't be more excited. What's making that event more perfect is the fact that I am going with Kenzie, even if not as her date. I do not want to make her feel weird nor do I think I am ready to tell anyone. Especially Seb, who has no clue about what is going on between Kenzie and I and is in love with Kenzie. I feel bad for him, then the moment I see Kenzie, that bad feeling is replaced with these butterflies who have taken up residence in my stomach. I don't know why though but every time Kenzie and my eyes meet lately these butterflies emerge. I didn't like it at first but now I am used to it since it happens so often. And if we kiss, then the electricity that I feel throughout my body is another weird thing happening to me lately. Yet, I am not bothered by any of them.

Yesterday during shopping when Kenzie came into my dressing room to help me, I was shocked and embarrassed. Because I needed help with my zipper which for this dress runs along my back. I just couldn't reach it. Kenzie helped me but also tickled me. I am guessing that was to get rid of the weird awkward tension there was between us then. Or maybe it was not weird for her after all I am me, who didn't even have a crush before Kenzie. And I am sure Kenzie have had crushes. I mean I know she told me she never really liked anyone before me but having a crush is different and I also know most people aren't like me. I do not want to upset her by talking about her past especially now. Because for now both of us are really excited to attend our first winter ball together, well sort of together. As technically Kenzie is going as Seb's date and she is just helping me pass through the 'security gate'. It's a dumb name I refer to where jobless students from our school stands to check who is entering the ball with whom. For what purpose I have no idea, what they do with this knowledge, again no idea. All I do know is that they do it every year as a weird tradition. It is yet another stupid thing that is a special part of our student body. But hey, I can't complain because I am getting to walk in with Kenzie because of this stupid rule.

As I am getting ready for the ball, I cannot help but remember last night when we went to Cape Creek and I overheard Kenzie talking to Danny about us. She apparently thinks that she will be holding me back as she is not ready to come out, well neither am I but she doesn't know that. They were also discussing the fact of Kenzie being confident to come out to them to which she just laughed and said, she was too drunk to realize. Then next morning she did panic for a second before she saw everyone was teasing us and not making fun of her or bullying her. That made her feel good and gave her confidence that maybe she could tell her parents one day. Danny supported her and then he started talked about his confusions and I left. I do remember Kenzie being tensed at times when Charlie teased her or anyone before she kissed me drunkenly. I also remember her smiling confidently, was that an act for me?

I know that has been puzzling me since yesterday, but I do not want to ask her not today at least. It can wait for now. But after her talk with Danny, she seemed different, more smiley, and carefree. Whatever they talked after I left must have helped her or is this an act as well? No, I cannot think like that. Didn't I promise myself to be optimistic regarding this winter ball? So, I am going to remain optimistic regarding everything happening today that includes accepting the fact that Kenzie is actually happy. I know I am overtly excited to be going to this ball although dancing is not my thing. Never really had much of chance to know either. Well, not like I would be dancing tonight with anyone either way. I am going to be there to watch Kenzie and my brother dance and get my first ever high school dance experience. How fun! Yay?

Seb is also happy. Although he seems to be in a mood since yesterday. We haven't really talked yet and it seems like something is always coming up. Well during the holidays, we would be talking as there will be nothing there. I am not sure how to face him though. I do feel bad because I am pretty sure I more than like Kenzie. But I don't feel guilty anymore especially after I witnessed Seb and Sophia. Those two have a connection which Seb obviously either refuses to see or is oblivious to it. I know Sophia sees it and I know she said she is enjoying her time with Seb, but I am worried about a simple fact that my brother might be breaking my best friend's heart unknowingly. Even though they seem to be doing good for now. Just as I think of Sophia my door flies open and in walks Sophia.