Change For Me

8. don't be awkward

~~~~

"Hey Mae" I take my seat beside Conrad. I place my bag behind my chair before turning my attention to him. He has a welcoming smile and his hand out for me to take. I giggle quietly to myself and shake his hand.

Conrad doesn't look any different from freshman year. There are a few differences—puberty—but there's not a slightest change. He's tall, has natural tan skin, black hair, and dark brown eyes. Overall, he's such a sweet person.

Conrad and Jae have a brotherly bond that no one else can compare to. They do everything together and will do anything for each other. No matter the consequences and how stupid these choices are—trust me I've seen it.

I don't know much about their friendship, I can tell, they balance each other out somehow.

It's kind of awkward for me since they're both my ex crushes. The two boys that did something to my heart.

After our freshman year, me and Conrad's relationship has always been awkward. We got better at breaking the tension but it's always there.

I'll always remember the moment when I broke his heart and he did the same to mine. It's a long lost memory as every time it comes to mind, I feel the guilt. At least we don't mention the whole ideal of us falling for one another. I think it's time to change what ever happened between us and start all over—no grudges.

"How was your summer?" Conrad asks.

"I stayed with my cousins for a month. I didn't really do much except babysit." I shrug.

"In Niagara?" He raises a brow with a small smile, knowing the answer already. He knows me better than I do.

"Yes," I laugh as he focuses on his phone again.

"Okay that's done! Since class finishes in 15 minutes, you can talk with your partners to know each other more." Madame Brun says to the whole class. The room fills up with conversations
about the summer. Sofie is on the other end of the room, Lisa is busy talking to her partner, and Claire is preoccupied with Jae next to her. It leaves myself sitting in my seat awkwardly as I don't know what to do.

I look to my right, noticing Conrad talking to Roman. I don't want to bother him so I turn to the other side and see one of my classmates doodling in their sketchbook. I definitely do not want to interfere their concentration. Instead, to waste time, I decide to pull out my schedule and look through it more thoroughly.

And that's what I did for the rest of class. I repeatedly scan the page, up and down, until I have it memorized—I'm that bored.

The bell finally rings, indicating the start of lunch, and Madame Brun dismisses our class. We all stand from our chairs and head towards the cafeteria.

~

Me and Sofie enter the cafeteria with Claire and Lisa following behind us. We notice an empty table at the corner of the room, so we decide to take it for ourselves. I take out my lunch and begin to slowly eat my food as do the rest of them.

"Did you see Jae today?" Lisa asks once we're all done eating. Sofie and Claire are scrolling through their phones, and I'm munching on my apple slices.

"He glowed up during the summer," Sofie shrugs, not looking away from her phone to respond. That's how you know the gossip isn't worth listening to. I aspire to be as nonchalant as her because I stress over every detail.

"That's what I've been telling you," Claire rolls her eyes. "He's really hot. How about you?" She asks me.

"Sure?" I furrow my brows to satisfy her expectation and resume snacking on my apples. I don't say more to refrain embarrassing myself.

"Everyone glowed up during the summer so you can't really give him all the credit." Lisa sighs. "I don't know what sun y'all are tanning under. No one asked me to have the high school musical 2 experience. "

"Bitch! I invited you to go out with me so many times and you denied each time." Claire exclaims.

"Oh yeah," Lisa accepts ber accusation, earning Claire to slap her arm.

~

"Me and Ellie have spare so we'll see you guys at..." Sofie scans her schedule "...gym". Claire and Lisa nod their heads and turn the opposite direction.

"We can sit in the recreational room if you want?" I suggest.

"Sure," we head towards the outdoor recreational room of our school. The only place that's aesthetically pleasing, relaxing, and gives some fresh air to the students—at least for me.

When we arrive, me and Sofie take a seat at one of the picnic tables. We begin looking through random papers the school handed out for the grade and try to occupy our time productively. It's hard to keep ourselves busy as it's the first day of school. 

"Ellie!" I hear somewhere behind me. I peek over my shoulder, watching Taron and Eva walk up to us. They approach with open arms which allow me and Sofie to take that as an invitation for a hug.

I hug them one by one and over their shoulders, I notice the rest of their group of friends—Conrad, Roman, and Jae.

I fidget in my spot, unsure of what to do. I decide on smiling to the boys then going back to the picnic table. Taron and Eva end up sitting on either side of me and Sofie as the boys surround the table.

I can't help but feel nervous around them—they kind of intimidate me. I've talked and interacted with them many times. I'm not used to being around them, that's probably the reason—don't be awkward.

~~~~