The Leper King's Healer

Chapter 36

Later that day, while Philippa was deep in conversation with Abu, another scene unfolded in the chamber where Baldwin found himself preoccupied with thoughts of his queen. The room, adorned with gold and old relics that whispered tales of history, became a sanctuary where his emotions could unfurl without the scrutiny of courtly eyes.

Seated by a grand desk, maps and documents scattered before him, Baldwin's mind was far from the weighty matters that demanded his attention. Instead, it was consumed by the enigma that had woven itself between him and Philippa.

His heart weighed heavy with a mixture of longing and uncertainty, Each day, he wrestled with the decision to stay away from her, a decision driven by both his affection and a sense of duty.

The image of Philippa lingered in his mind, her fiery spirit and assertiveness leaving an indelible mark. Yet, her very qualities also served as a reminder of his own growing affliction, a reality he couldn't ignore. Fear gripped him, fear of exposing her to the lurking darkness that threatened to consume him.

Baldwin POV :

In those three agonizing days, I found myself trapped in a web of conflicting emotions. My heart yearned for Philippa, Each passing day felt like a weight upon my shoulders, a burden I couldn't shake off.

I knew what I was doing was for the best. The growing signs of leprosy had taken root, and I couldn't bear the thought of exposing her to my affliction. She was a vibrant force, a beacon of strength and passion, and he feared that his own ailment would snuff out that light.

Each time she attempted to see me, my heart clenched in a mixture of yearning and hesitation. I knew that every moment we spent together would bring her harm. I know that this could forever change the course of our relationship.

I recalled the day when she knocked on my chamber door, her presence a constant pull on my emotions, I took a deep breath, my fingers gripping the edge of the table. "Tell Her Majesty that I cannot receive her at the moment," I instructed my servant, my voice steady despite the turmoil within me.

It wasn't that I didn't want to be with her; in fact, it's the opposite. The desire to hold her, to be with her was an ache that never left me. But the darkness that was beginning to consume me, worrying that she might be inflected by this illness.

The next morning, as I saw her approach the dining hall, a mixture of longing and guilt swirled within me. The urge to join her, to share a meal as we always did, was strong, but so was the fear of her having this illness. So, with a heavy heart, I signaled to my servant, giving him the message to convey to her.

"She has requested your presence, Your Majesty," he informed me quietly, his expression a mix of understanding and concern.

I nodded, my gaze set on the table in front of me, and said, "Tell her... tell her that I am preoccupied with matters of the kingdom."

It was a painful choice, one that tore at my heartstrings. I watched her from a distance, her presence a constant reminder of what I was hiding, of the truth I couldn't bring myself to share. Each time I avoided her, it was as if I was adding another layer to the wall I was building between us.

As the days grew into nights, I found myself sneaking into her room, leaving gifts as a quiet expression of my affection and repentance. I felt a mixture of longing and despair as I watched her sleep each time. I wanted nothing more than to hold her and tell her the truth, but fear kept me from doing so.

I remembered the moment she kissed me beneath the tree, her energy and love surrounding me. It had been a symbol of our bond, a bridge I was now striving to keep. I thought of her strength, her determination, and I couldn't bear the thought of seeing her pity or sorrow.