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Step one of getting to the brighter side was to make things official with Connor

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Step one of getting to the brighter side was to make things official with Connor.

When he came over with loads of snacks for a movie night, I wasn't initially expecting to jump on that decision so quickly, but after I found myself opening up to him about my past, I knew that whatever was budding between us was serious.

I was tired of fighting the connection. Tired of trying to deny myself of things that made me happy. And while I'm still trying to reassure myself that I deserve to have good things, taking Esme's advice has me feeling a sense of relief as I approach the next step of getting to the brighter side.

Big Sisters of America is having a craft day downtown at the local community center. I called earlier to inquire if Monique would be here and if it would be okay for me to show up. The woman on the phone practically begged me to attend this event.

With Thanksgiving right around the corner, autumn streamers hang from the rafters of the gym, the loud door shutting loudly behind me. Chatter and laughter echo from the high ceilings as I stride for two older women standing off to the side with clipboards. They're overseeing the event, I assume.

Long folding tables take up the majority of the gym with about every craft you could imagine. Paints, paper, brushes, easels, construction paper, all of it looks like a rainbow threw up on everything in sight. It's almost enough to scare me off. I consider not being able to do this until I spot Monique at a table by herself.

She's cutting along one of the pieces of construction paper seeming deep in thought, and the sight of her alone practically breaks me.

Everyone else has a big sister in the program from the looks of it, and it doesn't help that she's isolated herself from the rest of the pairs.

"Hello." One of the women smiles warmly and glances up at the clipboard. "Are you Aria?"

"Oh. Um, yeah. That's me." I shift awkwardly on my feet.

"It's not often she gets newcomers," she admits. "We are so thrilled for you to be here for Monique. She's been having some time...adjusting to the program."

"She really is a sweet girl," the other woman adds. "A lot of the children coming from foster care take some time to warm up. That's all."

Oh, god.

My stomach twists up in knots thinking of Monique as a little girl all alone just like she is now at the table. I don't blame her for isolating herself or not wanting to talk to others.

"How long has she been in the program?" I ask.

"Only a few weeks. Her current foster parents thought she might benefit from being in a mentorship program. It's taking some time to find her a mentor, but hopefully that changes today." A spark of hope ignites in her eyes. "If today goes well and you want to join the program, come see us at the end and we'll help you fill out the paperwork."

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