you make me sick (for being so perfect)

Fifty Nine.

Lauren burrows herself further under her special blue blanket when she hears a knock on the door. "Mom, I'm alright. I'd like to stay in the quiet, please. You don't need to keep checking up on me."

She bites down on her lip when she hears the door open, because her mom has been checking on her rather consistently for the past week. Since school started this week, she's been pretending to be sick, so Lauren hasn't left her house and therefore hasn't seen Camila, and she's given her parents instruction not to let her in, because she's upset that she shouted and she's pretty sure that they've broken up now, and it'd hurt her a lot to see Camila again.

She feels a hand touch her blanket and shakes her head, pulling Nala up to her chest. "Mom. Don't grab at my blanket, please."

"I'm not your mom."

At the familiar voice, Lauren's breath catches in her throat and she feels tears pricking at her eyes. She peeks out from under her blanket and her eyes widen when she sees that yes, Camila is actually there and not some kind of weird hallucination.

"Why are you here?" Lauren wipes at her eyes again. "I told my parents not to let you in."

"I- I know," Camila looks anywhere but at Lauren, "I came over every day to see if you'd talk to me. I think your mom felt bad for me... she gave me half an hour."

Lauren frowns and pulls her blanket closer to her. "Why are you here? It doesn't make sense, why would you come over if we're broken up?"

Camila blinks in surprise. "We're- we're not broken up. Unless- are you breaking up with me?"

"We're not?" Lauren rubs the material of her blanket between her thumb and forefinger. "But- but you shouted at me and wanted me to leave..."

"But we're not- Lauren, I'd never break up with you," Camila stares down at her with wide eyes. "I love you. And I'm so sorry for the other night, I was so angry and like you said, took it out on the first person I could, but that's not an excuse. I never should've shouted and I feel so guilty about it."

"I- it's okay," Lauren bites down on her bottom lip. "I should've left you alone when you asked instead of pushing you. It's my fault too. But- but I thought we were broken up and I needed time away from you because it would've upset me to see you."

"God, no. I tried calling you so much but your phone was always on do not disturb, and every time I came over, your parents wouldn't let me in." Camila shakes her head. "We had a fight, but we didn't break up. I'm in love with you and one little argument isn't going to change that."

"I'm sorry I thought we were broken up." Lauren mumbles. "That's why I wouldn't let you in. Because I didn't want to see you for a while if- if we were done."

"It's okay. Can I... can I touch you, Lolo?" Camila asks, holding out a cautious hand. "Just- just to play with your hair. If that's okay with you."

Lauren stares at her for a moment before nodding. "Okay."

Camila starts brushing Lauren's hair back from her forehead. "You- when we were fighting... you were frightened of me."

"Yes, because you were shouting and that's loud." Lauren replies, closing her eyes and fiddling with Nala as Camila plays with her hair. "I don't like loud."

After a few seconds silence, Camila kisses Lauren's forehead. "I'd never leave you, Lo. And I'm so sorry for shouting and saying things I didn't mean."

Lauren hums in thought. "I know that. I was just frightened because- because you were shouting and- and it reminded me of when my mom would get mad at me and take away my stimmy things or when my aunt-"