Chapters 19-21

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Chapter 19: Tessa's Way

Tessa had two meowing cats rubbing at her legs. This always happened when Magnus left. The silly creatures were so needy. Though she had to admit, she was rather fond of them. She bent down to fill their food dish and instantly the cats attention switched from her to their breakfast. She smiled as she returned to Jem who was sitting on the couch.

"I do like cats," Jem said as she was encircled by his arms. "I can't say I like the names Magnus chose though." Tessa chuckled.

"Magnus does have a problem with puns," she agreed.

It was Christmas morning and Jem had slept over last night, and the night before. Jem had basically been here every night since Magnus had left; Tessa didn't like being all alone. She had been raised by her Aunt Harriet ever since her parents died and usually returned home for the holidays, but this year she hadn't felt up to the long trip and, anyway, someone had to stay behind to feed the cats, right? Though she knew this was just an excuse. In the previous years they had always managed to find a cat sitter. Jem was here and Tessa craved his company in Will's absence more than her aunt's. Jem understood and shared her pain: the loss of Will. Short of forcing their company on someone who obviously didn't want to see them, neither Jem nor Tessa had any ideas how to bring Will back into their lives.

"Should we open presents?" Jem asked her. She had just opened her mouth to agree when there was a knock on the door. Without thinking Tessa got up and answered it. And there she stood face to face with the person she'd longed, for but hadn't seen in a month.

"Will?" Tessa whispered.

"Magnus threatened me," Will said quickly. "I just thought I'd check in, but if I'm interrupting I can leave."

"No." Jem's voice carried from across the room as he quickly got up to join Tessa at the door. "Please come in Will."

Tessa made a mental note to thank Magnus profusely upon his return as she offered to get Will a drink.

"I'm fine," Will replied, refusing any refreshment. "How are you two?"

"Worried about you!" Jem said.

"Missing you," Tessa added while Jem nodded.

"I'm trying to do the right thing," Will argued. "Why are you both acting like this?"

"How is ignoring me the right thing!?" Jem yelled. Jem so rarely raised his voice both Tessa and Will stared at him for a moment.

"We fell in love with the same woman!" Will yelled back at Jem with equal volume. Tessa couldn't help but gasp. Will had never said he loved her before and to hear it like this, uttered as the reason Will wasn't talking to his best friend, was quite shocking.

"You say that like it's an explanation," Jem argued. "But it's an excuse. I offered to step aside, no hard feelings, but you--"

"I know how happy she makes you Jem," Will said firmly then added sadly, all his anger gone. "And I can't be the thing that takes happiness away from anyone else."

"How many times do I have to tell you that what happened to Ella wasn't your fault!" Jem roared back, but with affection this time rather than anger.


"You weren't there," Will said. "You don't know." Will turned to leave muttering as he went, "Should have just taken Magnus's punishment."

Tessa reacted quickly. She reached out and grabbed hold of Will's arm. He turned to stare at her with wide eyes. The unguarded look on his face made her blush but she ignored it, determined.

"Don't I get a say in all this?" Tessa asked.

"Oh course you do," Will said. "But you love Jem."

"I love you too," Tessa spoke directly to Will as Jem had heard this before. "They say you cannot love two people equally at once and perhaps for others that is so. But you and Jem—you are not like two ordinary people, two people who might have been jealous of each other, or who would have imagined my love for one of them diminished by my love of the other. It's as if you are one soul in two bodies. I could not love Jem so much if I did not love you as well. And I could not love you as I do if I did not also love Jem. Please don't leave, Will. Please don't rip me in half again."

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