Why Joise is who she is.

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A/N
This was the most difficult part of this story for me to write. Josie's story is based on a real thing that I went rough when I was 13. I am ofcourse changing the name of the person in her life, but this is how I make her realteable and giver her a backround. WARNING!!!!!!!! If you are esily upset by the topic of suicide and depression this might not be the chapter for you!
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   We arived back at mine and Matt's apartment adn we all just went inside and sat int he living room. All of us were silent. None of us wanted to say anything or just didn't know what to say. My heart was breakign all over again. I could never get that news again.

"Hey baby can I talk to you please?" Colby asked as he sat next to me.

"Yeah sure." I said as I looked over at him. Colby stood up infront of me and grabbed my hands. He walked me back into my room.

"What?" I asked as I sat on the edge of my bed.

"I knwo this may not be the best time, but I couldn't just ignore what you siad to Matt. What did you mean when you told Matt that you couldn't go through that again?" he asked as he sat next to me. With no hesitation I began to sob uncontrolably. This was the one thing I didn't want to tell him. This was the one thing that after 8th grade I kept to myself.

"Colby I can't tell you." I said as I looked at him wiht my eyes red and tears streaming down my cheaks.

"Princess, you do you you can tell me everything." He said as he grabbed the sides of my face. This one thing made everyone feel like they were walkign in egg shells around me and he was the last person I wanted to feel that way around me. So I just shook my head.

"Baby-" Colby began before he was cut off by Matt walking into my room.

"I herd you through the door when I was going into my room. Josie tell him he deserves to know. He will be there for you." Matt said as he leaned on the door way. I nodded and Matt began to back out of my room.

"Stay." I siad as I looked at him and he nodded and sat on the other side of me. I took a deep breath as more tears streamed down and I tried to find my words.

"I was 12 when I moved back to the North Carolina from Ohio and about a year later I got a friend request from a childhood friend of mine. He looked so diffrent then he used to when we were little. His mom used to baby sit me and him and I would play together all the time. We used to have nerf wars all the time." I smiled as I remebered that memory. It was one of many amazing memories I had with him. "He used to have such a big crush on me, but when we reconeted and I talked to him and saw him I was falling for him. We talked for over a month when he told me him nand his girlfriend broke up. When he said it was beacuse she thought he cheated on her I should have kown he wsan't actually fine hen he said he was. A few weeks later I saw people posting on facebook for him to rest in peace and I freaked out as I tried to message him thinking it was some sick joke, but i messaged his mom and I got the worst new of my life. He left school early that day and he...he..h-" My voice broked and I was sobbing again. That kind of sobbign where you can't even breath right.

"I can't say it." I managed to breath out.

"He shot himself on his front porch." Matt said as he looked at me clearly holding back his tears.

"Josie I can't even begin to belive what that must have felt like." Colby said as he pulled me close to him in the tightest hug he had ever given me. I buried my face in his chest and sobbed soaking his shirt in my tears.
    I felt Matt gently rub my back just like he would do when I would break down at school, work or chior practice.

"And I don't want you to ever have to feel that pain." I said into his chest.

"Baby I'm here for you if you need me. You can always talk to me." Colby said as I continued to sob into his chest.

"The best thing you can do is just hug her. Hold her as tight as you can Colby and never let go. She is the most amazign girl you will ever meet in your life." Matt explained to Colby as I herd him begin to lightly cry.

"I will never let go. I promise. I promise you Josie I will make sure you never feel that pain again. I will never let anthing or anyone hurt you. Ever. I promise...promise." Colby said as he buried his face in my hair. I just nodded and I still couldn't speak.
   That night we all slept in my room. I wouldn't let Matt leave and Colby didn't want to leave me.  He refused to go to the bathroom until I was asleep he didn't want to let go of me and I disn't want to let go of him and Matt well he literally curled up on the end of my bed like a dog. That was the only comic realeife we had that day. Rigth now It was jsut me and my boys. The two Most imprtant people in my life. You really are Matt. You are.

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