Freak like me - Jamie Campbell Bower (Fanfiction)

Chapter Fourty-Two - Shade of love

With absolute power I kicked the door shut and glided on the floor. Jamie hung his coat on the rail and threw a quick look at me. As he saw me sitting on the floor, his mien became thoughtful. Softly he knelt down to me to touch my arm, driving through my hair. I knocked my head on the door and closed my eyes. „I can´t do this anymore”, I whispered. I felt how he threw himself beside me, placed one hand on my thigh. „You´re so strong, Thea. You were so strong all the time. You´re allowed to cry and to give up for a second. The thing is, that you´re getting strong again.”

He´s so smart. So intelligent. He´s a sexy gandalf. With the hem of his sleeve in his hand, he took mine and intertwined them. His head fell on my shoulder, and automatically mine fell on his. And then the tears rushed, in his hair, in his shirt, all over my face. As I looked in Jims eyes, there was anger and rage, but now there only was sadness and disappointment. I don´t know what I had done when Jamie hadn´t been there. His warm shoulder on mine, his fingers between mine, our hearts side by side. Maybe there were some tears because of happiness that he was there, that he cared for me this much and to feel his love so strong. But I don´t wanted him to be so sad because I was. His happy face was too beautiful to change. My fingers softly touched his cheek, drove down to his chin, pulling his head so close on mine, our noses touched each other. I closed my eyes again and one last tear passed my cheek. No one moved, we just inhaled and exhaled the same air. But then, just ouf of reflex, I laid my hands on his head, tried to hold down the overcoming tears. We were still in this position, even as I started to cry like a kid, loud and sniffing. I did not open my eyes, because I knew Jamie did not too. „I´m such a wreck”, I whispered with a little laughter. „But you´re still so beautiful”, he replied.

„How do you know? Your eyes are closed.”

„You are in my heart, not in my head.”

I think this should´ve made me smile, but I started crying louder, my chest rose and fell heavier than ever. Finally I ended up laughing wistful. His arms wandered up my back, pulling me closer to him, pulling me into a hug, not into a kiss. He just knew how to react in every situation. He´s brilliant. My fingers touched every of his ribs. I felt his heart pounding so regularly, I immediately calmed down. I let go of him and searched the sea in his eyes. But it was only a shimmering shade of love, that learnt me to smile again, even when I feel like crying.

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A very emotional chapter today, what do you think? 

xskinny