*jadens pov*
*few days later time skip*
Madelyn and i moved in together 2 days ago
She forgave me about yk what i did
What makes me really guilty is she still sometimes scared i would do sth
Its really killing me to see she's afraid of me sometimes even when i do nth she's just afraid
I after i stopped taking cocaine i been having anger issues and shit same as how i was hen i was on it too
I try my best to control myself because i dont want to do sth i regret
Im trying to be good for her and for our baby that coming soon
But its so hard because like im trying to to become a better person and at the same i wanna be there for her and help her
Im honestly mentally fucked up
I dont think im going to be a good dad or a good partner
Im really stressed out because i keep on stressing myself out
And imjust keeping everything to my self i dont talk to anybody because people will understand what they wanna understand from their own way
And then will be like "no jaden its okay u are doing great " but im not
Ive thought about going to rehab but this means i will leave madelyn and i wont be there for her And i cant do that i've fucked up her life i cant just leave and go fix mine
I still feel guilty for what i did to her she told me she forgives me
But the guilt is really eating me up and i dont sleep anymore like if i did its just for 1 hour or something cause whenever i do i get nightmares
Madelyn tries to ask me if im okay and that i can talk to her but i just say everything is alright but i know that she knows im going through sth
But i cant tell her cause she will maybe think that care about myself more
Idk
I really dont
If im doing sth for myself i feel like everybody would think im selfish
I dont know what to do ......
___________________________________________
So jaden's mental health is so fucked up as we can see ,he thinks if he puts himself first everybody will hate him and be like "he is selfish"
What do u think :(?
Comment if u have ideas/suggestions
YOU ARE READING
|BOYSHIT| jaden hossler
RomanceIN WHICH madelyn drops a song about jaden after 2 months of the break up of their toxic relationship
