𝘼𝙁𝙏𝙀𝙍 𝙒𝙀 𝘾𝙍𝘼𝙎𝙃𝙀𝘿 ↣ 𝙊𝙉𝙀 𝘿𝙄𝙍𝙀𝘾𝙏𝙄𝙊𝙉

22. TWO GHOSTS

Louis and I didn't fight. Ever. We agreed on most things, and when we didn't, it was easy to find a compromise.

We had been together for nine years, and the worst fight we had was when he told me I should have fought back against James. That was seven years ago.

Sometimes we bickered, or argued; but we didn't fight.

Not like this.

We were stood across from each other. Neither of us wanted to break the silence. The lights hummed above us, and it only added to the electric feeling in the air.

"It's always going to be this, isn't it?" I asked finally. "Me and my hostile uterus are a problem."

"I don't know what you want me to say," Louis deadpanned. "I can't tell you it's okay."

"Because it's not."

"Yeah, it's not."

"So what, then?" I asked, keeping my voice down to not wake up Keenan or Karter. "It's not like you didn't know. Why is it bothering you so much all of a sudden?"

"I think about it a lot, I just don't talk about it with you because I know it upsets you when I do. Obviously, it does."

"Why wouldn't it upset me?" I asked. Louis sighed, because he knew I had a point. "I'm sorry, alright? I'm sorry that you fell in love with me and I can't give you biological kids. If you want that you have to go somewhere else."

"I'm not going to do that," Louis argued. "I could never do that. I love you too much to even think about that."

"You don't need to," I said.

"What?"

"If you're not happy, you don't need to stay with me."

"Mickey-"

"Can you stop calling me that? It stresses me out."

"Okay, sorry."

"I'm as good as I'm going to get," I said, repeating the same words from earlier. "And honestly, Louis, you deserve better than this."

"That's not true," Louis argued. "Is that what this is about now? You don't feel like you're enough for me?" his voice was soft when he asked.

"I know that I'm not enough for you," I said simply. "I've always known."

"What? Love, where is this coming from?"

"Oh come on, Lou, you can't act like it hasn't always been a thing. Fucking nine years ago I told you Eleanor was the better option for you, didn't I? And-"

"How is this about Eleanor?" Louis asked. "That was so long ago. And you know I did that so you would stop hurting."

"It's not about Eleanor," I argued. "It's about both of us knowing that I'm not the best person for you."

"Stop saying that," Louis said. His palm smacked the counter, loud enough to cut off my next statement before I started it. "You're the only person in the world that I could ever love. Just the way you are. I love everything about you, alright? Even the things I don't like; I love. You're my person, my other half, my partner for the rest of my life. You don't need to doubt yourself. You are more than enough for me."

I searched Louis' face, then. He looked completely serious.

"You might not love yourself enough to see it, but it's true," Louis croaked out.

"I can't give you everything you want," I whimpered.

"And I can't give you everything that you want, either," Louis argued softly. He walked around the island and stopped a foot away from me. "I can't give you peace, love."