𝘼𝙁𝙏𝙀𝙍 𝙒𝙀 𝘾𝙍𝘼𝙎𝙃𝙀𝘿 ↣ 𝙊𝙉𝙀 𝘿𝙄𝙍𝙀𝘾𝙏𝙄𝙊𝙉

26. INSOMNIA

[ONE MONTH LATER]

Facing my past was something I never planned on doing. It was never something I wanted. I met James at the police station in Iowa when I was fifteen and that didn't help me. I met Jakob at a Wal-Mart in Oregon when I was sixteen and that didn't help, either.

I didn't want an apology, not that I expected to get one. I didn't want anything from anyone who had broken me. All I wanted was distance from them so I could try to forget that they existed.

That was hard to do when one of the worst people that had custody over me was trying to take his biological children out of Louis and I's care.

Louis and I got ready to go to the courthouse in silence. I dressed smartly and tried to make myself look like an adult. Louis tried not to be concerned as he moved around me. I noticed his lingering touches, his gaze that held longer than usual.

"Ouch!" I yelped, pulling the flat iron away from my head.

"What?" Louis asked, his head snapping to me.

"Sorry, I just burnt my ear with the straightener," I said, turning to look back at him. Louis padded across the room to me and leaned down so his face was next to mine. He kissed the red spot on my ear.

"Slow down, love. There's no rush."

"Sorry," I mumbled.

"It's alright, you don't need to apologize," he said softly. He took the flat iron from me and started straightening my hair himself. My hands were decidedly too shaky for it.

"Zayn and Niall are here, right?" I asked.

"Yeah," Louis said. They had arrived early this morning, and made themselves busy with doing things around the house. They were offering us as much of a break as we could get.

And since Keenan and Karter didn't want to come to the courthouse with us, we asked them to stay. The last thing either kid needed was to be alone.

Louis finished straightening my hair faster than I could have. He pumped a bit of hair oil into his hands and ran it through my ends before he kissed the top of my head. I stood up and wrapped my arms around him.

Louis was my safe haven.

He held me securely. My eyes started to water over so I squeezed them shut. The simple truth was that I was terrified of the things coming today.

I was terrified of coming clean about what Jakob had done to me, and I was terrified of being in the same room as him. But it was for Keenan and Karter. I didn't have a choice.

I pulled away from Louis. He grabbed my face and held it in his hands.

"You okay?" he asked.

"I don't know," I said.

"He's not going to hurt you again," Louis said firmly. I nodded, because logically I knew that. But it didn't stop my heart from pounding or my hands from shaking.

I grabbed Louis' forearms and kept his hands on my face. It grounded me. He grounded me.

"We should go downstairs," I said. "Talk to Niall, Zayn, and the kids."