𝘼𝙁𝙏𝙀𝙍 𝙒𝙀 𝘾𝙍𝘼𝙎𝙃𝙀𝘿 ↣ 𝙊𝙉𝙀 𝘿𝙄𝙍𝙀𝘾𝙏𝙄𝙊𝙉

40. WE MADE IT

[TWO WEEKS LATER]

"A year ago, on August fifth, Louis and I's lives suddenly got more complicated. After a two minute phone call in Brazil, we were foster parents. Funny how that works," I said playfully. The audience in front of me laughed. "I flew home. That night, I met two extraordinary teenagers. Keenan and Karter. I remember frantically trying to set up bedrooms, picking up the living room, making myself a pot of tea. The night that Keenan and Karter moved into my home, they've said, was the day things started getting better."

I looked out into the crowd. The kids and Louis were sitting close together, watching me and nodding encouragingly. The boys and their families were there as well, in the tables around them.

The event? A foster care fundraiser, organized by Keenan and Karter (with funding from our label.) Instead of a celebrating the day they came to us, their gotcha-day, they wanted to help other kids find homes. Both kids had always been selfless like that.

"When the kids first came to us, they were different people. Especially for about the first month. Things were bumpy, communication was difficult, feelings weren't able to be sorted out. Most of the time, this is how foster children live. They live in that state. When they're scared and confused and in the house of a stranger. When any action on their part could possibly result in them getting hurt. That is what foster kids know. It's what I knew, it's what Keenan and Karter are just beginning to forget, and it's what I know so many of the foster kids in here understand."

Someone whooped in the distance, agreeing with what I was saying.

"I've talked to a lot of people about foster care reform. Advocates, like the people here tonight. Interviewers, all the time. I'll talk to anyone that will listen. A lot of times the people I talk to have no real prospective of foster care is actually like. They have no idea what kids are being subjected to. And so when I talk about foster care, they'll ask me why so many foster kids run away from or refuse to trust their foster parents. I've done some thinking on that."

"It's cold outside in winter. Not here in LA, of course, but in other places. I grew up in Iowa, and we had awful winters there. This, what I'm about to say, is the only way to explain why foster kids sometimes behave how they do even when they're in a safe home." I looked out across the people in the room. They were paying attention to me. "You know that feeling when you're outside for a long time and you're cold? Your hands, they get so cold that the nerves feel raw and exposed. All you want to do is make them warm again. So you go inside, and you turn the water warm, and you put your hands under it. And it hurts. The water burns, and even though it's going to be for the best in the long run, all you want to do is pull your hands out of the water."

"That is what love is like for a foster child that has never experienced it. It's overwhelming in an awful way. They don't know if that feeling will go away on it's own. So, they pull their hands away and build their walls up and protect themselves, even if they get frostbite trying. That's what they're doing. Trying to survive. Give them a break."

Niall stood up from his seat and started applauding. The other boys stood up with him, and then their families, and the tables around them. Niall lead my standing ovation, standing tall, looking as proud of me as ever.

"We're here tonight to celebrate one year of having Keenan and Karter as members of our family. Kids, if you'll come up here for just a second?" I nodded my head, urging them to join me. I watched them look at each other and shake their heads no, before looking back to me. Their heads moved frantically from side to side, laughing as they did so. "Come up here or I'll have the boys carry you," I threatened, laughing.

Louis stood up from his spot. He padded to the kids and ushered them up out of their seats. He nudged them to the stage, and the three of them stood next to me.