Already Gone

The Downward Spiral

"Now...you might get other teachers that like their thesis statement to be the first sentence of your introductory paragraph but I like to have it in the middle," My English teacher told the entire class, though I doubt everyone was listening. 

English was boring. 

   My teacher continued despite the yawns and groans that rippled through the classroom, "Remember, your hook should be a statement that shows that you've considered your topic literature but it should also make the reader want to read your essay."

Who would ever want to read an essay, especially one written by a ninth-grader?

"The hook should also be pulled from the literature, in our case, the novel," She went on and I fought off an urge to give a great big yawn, "Does anybody have any ideas as to what you could include in it?"

In what?

   I should probably be paying more attention but between trying to avoid Easton and his group and the custody battle, my mind clearly had better things to think about than a stupid literary essay. 

"A rhetorical question?" Ila had raised her hand and given a splendid answer. She might be hanging out with the wrong crowd but there was no denying that she was smart. 

   Our teacher quickly agreed, before continuing with the rest of the lesson about literary essay structure, which I tuned out completely. Instead, I pretended to be taking notes while I carefully watched Ila and Gwen from the corner of my eye. 

   They were whispering, their mouths barely moving. Once in a while, they'd shoot me a glance but that was about it. I wondered if they were talking about me but I scolded myself.

Not everything was about me. 

"Summer," My teacher's voice snapped me out of my thoughts. I immediately dropped the pencil, realizing that I had been doodling nonsense all over my notebook instead of actually writing any words. 

   I swallowed hard, "Uh...yes?"

"How many body paragraphs do I expect to be in your essay?" She had a stern look on her face and I knew that she saw how I wasn't paying any attention to her. 

"Um..." For some reason, I quickly glanced over at Ila and to my surprise, she made brief eye contact while mouthing 'three'.

   I cleared my throat, "Three."

   My teacher didn't seem too thrilled that I had gotten it right though, "That's right...you should probably take notes instead of drawing whatever you're drawing over there."

   I quickly nodded and the moment she turned away, I flashed Ila a small smile out of thanks. Shocking me once again, Ila smiled back before looking down at her notebook, going back to what she was doing.

   The day seemed to drag on, but thankfully it was the last day before the two-week holiday break. Most teachers were nice enough to skip on the homework, wanting us to "enjoy our holidays without having to worry about work" which was amazing, but there were a few that still assigned homework. 

Mind you, I had no intentions of completing it. 

   I had been good at finishing homework on time before, but lately, I've been caring less and less about school. I had never enjoyed school,  but now I could easily say that I hated it and it showed in my grades. 

   I wasn't proud of how I was slipping but truth be told, I also didn't care. The only feeling I could undoubtedly say I felt nowadays was anger. 

   It wasn't just at my mother either.