Already Gone

What Could've Been

"I feel very good about the outcome," Nick told us with a smile, "We have an incredibly strong case."

"That's good," I mumbled but my gaze avoided him as I suddenly found the wall of the conference room incredibly interesting. 

"Now, a court date has been scheduled," Nick continued and his words drew my attention.

   My stomach twisted from the nerves that suddenly overcame me. Having a set date made this whole ordeal just that much more real.

"When is it?" I asked, even though it was completely unnecessary. Nick would have told me either way.

"January 5," Nick replied, looking down at his papers just to double-check before giving a nod, "Yup, January 5."

   I felt nauseous as my stomach started to churn at the thought of going to court. It was at this moment that I was starting to comprehend and realize what was actually happening. 

"Great! Thank you," Arizona flashed one of her signature smiles before getting up to shake hands with Nick, "We'll be in touch then."

   Nick nodded, "We will."

   He then shook hands with Callie before being politely ushered out of the room. I had hoped that my stomach would settle once I no longer had to stare at him but I was wrong.

"You okay?" Arizona's hand flew to my forehead as if in search of some kind of fever. 

"You look a little green," Callie added, taking a seat across from me.

   I sighed, "Yeah, I'm fine."

"You sure?" Callie raised an eyebrow.

   I smiled softly, "Just some nerves...nothing important."

   Callie looked like she was going to keep pushing for a better answer but her pager went off so she was forced to settle with the current one.

"I'll be back to check on you in a bit," She promised, getting up from her seat.

   I nodded, "Sounds good."

"I hate to have to leave too but I have a surgery to get to," Arizona gave me an apologetic look.

"It's okay, I get it," I reassured them both, "You guys have jobs, plus, I should get started on homework anyway."

   They couldn't have stayed any longer even if they wanted to so I quickly shooed them out of the room before shutting the door once again. Sinking into the chair, I twirled a strand of hair around my finger as I thought about January 5th carefully. 

   About a week away, that was the day that would determine a lot of things for me. 

   I twirled around the room a little bit before forcing myself to at least start my essay planner. I couldn't get much done though, my mind deciding to wander to other topics. More important topics. 

   After a while, I heard the conference room door open and expected it to be Callie since it was too early for Arizona to be out of surgery. Instead, much to my surprise, I looked up to see Alex.

"Oh," I automatically said and started gathering my things, "Do you need the room?"

   Alex shook his head and took a seat a few feet away from me, not saying anything as he watched me awkwardly set down everything I had started to pick up.

"Um..." I briefly glanced down at my essay planner only to see that it was covered in doodles, "Can I help you?"

   Alex only shrugged, "I was told to check in on you when I could so I figured that you had something to say."