Already Gone

Till Forever Falls Apart

"Get away from her!" I  finally snapped when my mother slapped Stella.

"Or what?" My mother turned to me, her eyes glossy and red, "What are you going to do about it?"

   I took a deep breath, "Don't you dare lay another hand on her."

   A painful sting across my face caught me off guard and I stumbled back a little. It wasn't nearly as painful as the cry that left Stella's mouth though as my mother turned her attention back to my sister.

"I told you to leave her alone!" I yelled and my hands grabbed the back of my mother's shirt, yanking her backwards and away from Stella. 

   I shoved her against the wall and before I could comprehend what I was doing, my fist went flying. One punch wasn't enough though. Maybe I could blame it on the adrenaline but deep down, I knew it wasn't that.

   The sense of power that I had experienced kept me going. It was scary what I did. It was scary why I did it. It was horrible too. 

   At some point, my ears stopped ringing and I heard Stella voice's pleading with me to stop hurting her, to leave her alone. In an instant, I let go of my mother and stepped back only to see how badly I had hurt her. 

   I then looked over at Stella and the fear in her watery eyes made me feel like someone had punched me in the stomach, knocking the wind out of my body. 

   I had never been like that. I had never let myself get to that point. I knew it was wrong. I knew that I was just as bad as my mother and that thought alone was enough to send me crumbling to the ground. 

I was a monster. 

~~~

"I'm ordering that the minor be returned to the custody of her mother," The judge said and I nearly fell out of my chair. 

He couldn't be serious.

   Nick had said it himself. We had a good case, a good chance. But as I knew, good chances didn't always mean good outcomes. 

   I looked across the courtroom to see a huge grin on my mother's face. A sickly smile that made me want to gag. 

   Everyone started filing out once the judge made his decision and I started to realize what was happening. 

"No!" I screamed, "You can't take me from them!"

   My words went unheard though as it seemed like nobody even noticed. I felt someone give me a little shove towards my mother and my heart dropped as she started walking towards me.

"Looks like you're coming home," She snickered and then left without another word.

~~~

   I woke with a start, my body drenched with sweat and trembling from the nightmare. I breathed heavily, letting the panic settle by itself. 

   It was just a nightmare, I reminded myself. It wasn't real. It wasn't going to happen. It was all in my head. It was just my mind playing with the stress of possibilities, that's all.

  I sat and glanced over at the clock on the night table, glad to see that I had managed to get quite a bit of sleep in. It also looked and felt like it was time for my next dose of Advil.