Already Gone

Without Me

"Were you able to reach her?" Dr. Robbins asked moments after my mother hung up on me.

I nodded, "Yup, she says she'll be here in half an hour."

   I felt a quick burst of panic when I realized that I forgot to tell my mother that I had lied about my name and that the hospital thought I was Stella.

   I then realized that she probably wouldn't even notice, and even if she did, she probably didn't care enough to correct it.

"That's great," Dr. Robbins said and I nodded, deciding to skip the part how whether it was against medical advice or not, I was leaving today.

"She must have been so relieved to know you're okay," Dr. Robbins added.

"Yeah," I laughed lightly, remembering how my mother hadn't even asked if I was okay, "I think I'm grounded for the rest of my life though."

   Dr. Robbins chuckled, "Maybe not for the rest of your life, but probably for a while."

   When I was left alone in the room again, I closed my eyes, not wanting to think about what I had to deal with now. So yes, now I didn't have to stay in this hospital, but I had broken ribs, a concussion, and just had knee surgery.

You can't run with all that.

   I let out a frustrated groan and pounded my fist against the hospital bed.

   As hard as it was, practically raising Stella, it was also easier. That was what my life was. That was all I knew. My life used to revolve around Stella. When it was taken away from me, I was suddenly lost. I no longer had a purpose.

   During that time, the Stella era, as I'm now calling it, every decision I made and every action I performed was with the thought of Stella in mind. That's what came first.

I didn't know how to function without that.

I couldn't function without that.

   I knew that once I got out of here, there would be no somewhat comfortable hospital bed and a warm room to sleep in every night so I figured I should get some shut-eye in this environment while I still had the chance.

   It was hard though, trying to fall asleep when I knew my mom was on her way to come to get me. As much as I did want to leave this hospital, I also didn't because I knew it was a safe place. I could sleep without thinking someone would try to steal my belongings and I mean, if I was being honest, the pain meds in this place was a plus too.

My monster liked it here.

   I must have exhausted myself from thinking so much because the moment I closed my eyes, I could feel sleep starting to take over my body.

~~~

"Mrs. Taylor, we would really like to keep Stella here overnight," Dr. Robbins explained, "Her body's been through a lot and we just want to keep an eye on her for a little longer."

   I opened a bleary eye before yawning and turning my head to see where the voices were coming from. I felt my heart drop when I saw my mother standing in the hallway with Dr. Robbins.

   My mother didn't even seem to notice that Dr. Robbins had used incorrect names, "I understand, but I think my daughter can recover better at home."

I was surprised by how calm and collected she was, a total 180 from how she usually is.

"With all due respect, I don't think you do," Dr. Robbins said, "Stella doesn't just have cracked ribs, she's broken a few and that can be dangerous. It already has become dangerous, her broken ribs punctured her lung and they can puncture her aorta or another major blood vessel."