Chapter Twenty-Seven

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Penny tries to throw her car keys onto the table across the room but fails miserably. They land with a clunk on the tiles below. She simply shrugs before diving onto the sofa. "We're home at last!"

Brody isn't far behind. The blonde mop on his head bounces under the dim lights as he throws himself next to her and wraps his arms around one of the grey pillows. He nestles his head into the fluff as they converse idly about the film we just watched.

I roll my eyes, knowing that Penny will forget where her keys are and panic five minutes before school when she can't find them. So, I pick them up for her, depositing them in their usual place.

I pad across to them now laying back on the sofa breathless from excessive laughter. When I notice a dark figure out of the corner of my eye my heart stops. My steps come to a halt as I squint to get a better look.

It's Archer, I'd be able to recognise him anywhere.

My eyes shift from the comfort of the living room to his hunched frame sitting in the cold outside. I'd much rather stay warm but there's a part of me that wants to go sit with him. Considering he's out there alone, something must be going on.

"What are you doing?" I ask.

He looks up. His face looks blank, more blank than it usually does, and his hair is dishevelled. It looks like he's run his fingers through it one too many times. I take a seat next to him and pull my knees up to my chest. The water reaches up to his knees as he dangles them in the water.

"Thinking," his voice is hoarse like he's recently been crying. My heart swells for him.

"About what?"

His bloodshot eyes meet mine, confirming my suspicions. "How fucked up life is."

I refrain from pulling him into an embrace. Even though I want nothing more than to do that right now I know I can't. "Do you want to talk about it?" I settle on, not knowing what else to say.

When I'm sad all I want to do is be left alone, I surely wouldn't want someone disturbing me asking questions I don't want to answer. But something tells me that he needs someone to be there for him.

He doesn't answer my question. Instead, he asks one of his own. "Do you ever feel like the entire world's out to get you?"

I sigh deeply, "yes."

I'm not a stranger to the feeling. Ever since my dad opened the door to the police that night and fell to his knees in front of me, I've felt that way. I understand that life is unfair. People are taken from you without reason, and you do everything you can to cling to the memories of them. You start to see everyone as a distraction or wonder if they know what you've been through. If they see you as damaged or broken. Sometimes you even see their curious glances as bone-crushing glares.

"Do you ever feel like giving up?" His words hitch in his throat.

I repeat my previous answer, yes. I feel my walls crumbling. Why am I telling him this? I've done so much to hide what I've been through from everyone yet here I am unable to keep my mouth shut. It's like I am incapable of hiding from him.

"What's stopping you?" He turns to me, his serious gaze on mine. The light pouring out from inside reveals the glossiness of his eyes. My urge to pull him into an embrace grows.

"Everything," I start, resting my chin on my knees. It's a simple question but a complicated answer. "My family would be crushed; I could never put them through that. I'd miss important things like my sister's first party or her first date. I'd miss her graduation and I wouldn't be there to calm her nerves when she's getting ready to go to her first interview. I'd miss all of her mistakes which most likely includes a terrible tattoo," I picture Sadie with a botched tattoo, and chuckle. "I'd miss my dad's second chance at love or the happiness he feels when he finally gets the promotion that he's been working so hard for. I'd miss it all."

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