Chapter Sixty-One

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I grab my bag and hurry down the stairs, thankful that no one's there. Penny left a while ago in her car. I'm sure she left earlier so she could avoid seeing me which shatters my heart past the point of return. It's my fault though. All of this is my fault.

I don't have time to grab any food so, instead, I slip my shoes on and rush out of the door. There was a part of me that hoped her car would still be parked in front of the house, hoping that she had forgiven me. Now, looking at the empty driveway, I'm reminded that will never happen.

I proceed to walk to school, clutching the straps of my backpack and gritting my teeth as the wind picks up.

I've had all weekend to wallow in self-pity, thinking of every excuse under the sun as to why this isn't my fault. None of them is true. At the end of the day, it's my fault. I'm the only one to blame. I have to accept that. I'm walking alone to school right now instead of sitting in the passenger seat next to Penny. It's my fault everyone avoided me like the plague this weekend. I feel like an outsider, exactly like I did when I first arrived in Portland.

I've also had time to think about who could have sent that photograph. There were a few people that came to mind, but I realised it would be a waste of time to try to figure it out. The truth was bound to come out at some point all they did was speed up the process. I was living in a fantasy world hoping that what I had with Archer would last forever but knowing that it wouldn't.

At first, I thought that whoever released the photograph did the hard part for me. I dreaded the day when I would have to come clean to Penny and Brody. It played on my mind most nights and filled me with guilt. I was stupid to think that would be the hardest part.

In reality, the hardest part is suffering from the consequences. Having your best friend turn the volume up on the TV if she noticed you coming down the stairs or having your best friend leave a room when you enter is gut-wrenching. I thought I had hit rock bottom when Archer was avoiding me. I was wrong, this is worse.

A droplet of rain lands on the tip of my nose causing me to groan inwardly. I tilt my head, noticing the dark clouds swarming above me. I wipe it off with the back of my sleeve but realise this is pointless when more fall. Pursing my lips, I continue walking.

My clothes grow heavier as I walk, and my hair grows darker. I keep my eyes plastered to the pavement. Strangely, I'm not as irritated by the rain as I once was. I don't mind getting soaked on my way to school anymore. Once you're living a nightmare already these things become unimportant.

When I finally make it to school, I'm fifteen minutes late. The corridors are empty. It brings me back to Friday night and the argument with Archer. I shake the thought out of my head and drag my feet into class.

I slump into my seat, keeping my eyes glued to my desk when I feel everyone's piercing gazes on me. First, I was exposed in front of them all and now I'm humiliated. Great. I'll never live this down.

"You're late." The teacher states. I shiver involuntarily. I'm not sure whether it's from the prying eyes, the sternness in her voice, or the fact that I'm currently soaked. It's probably a combination of them all. "You know what that means."

I sigh deeply, peeling the wet strands of hair off of my face. "I know, I know," I mutter, already drained. I've barely been awake an hour.

"I'll see you after school for detention."

*

I shuffle out of class, my eyelids drooping. My backpack is lazily strung over one of my shoulders and my hands are resting at my sides. Do you know when you stay up all night and have to function the next day? This feels like that, only I didn't stay up all night.

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