cover you up

four•him

I play the new Real Friends record I just bought. Like I do with all my vinyl, I cherish it. The cover has such a beautiful design and it just happens to be one of my favorite records. I put it on and lay on the ground, the ceiling looking as bland as always. When it gets to the "cover you up" part, I'm shouting every single lyric.

I mean, hell, no one's here, so why not?

"IT'S WORTH THOSE NIGHTS I'M SCARED TO WALK TO MY BASEMENT!" I shout with all the pressure I've had building up inside of me. Man, I wish I was in a band, I'd get so into it. Then just as I'm about to single the next line, there's a bell. fuck. Someone caught me jamming.

"THERE'S PICTURES OF YOU AND ME HIDDEN BEHIND MY COUCH.
I'LL BE WAITING FOR THE SUN TO SHINE THROUGH MY WINDOW WELL!" Someone else shouts.

I look over to see Elana on her knees in front of the door, shouting the lyrics like they're prayers.

"AM I TRYING TO FORGET YOU," I shout back.

"OR JUST COVER YOU UP?" She replied in response to the rest of the verse. God what is with this girl? She's absolutely perfect.

I turn the record down and head over to where she stands. Soon enough I find my legs jumping on the table and slide right in front of her.

"T'what do I owe the honor, Ms.Elana?"

"Wait you like... Real Friends?"

"Dude," I say, exaggerating the 'u' sound, "who doesn't? I mean obviously I'm punk rock." My fingered spread out to resemble a 'rock on' sign, which is my attempt at an emo teenager impression, which also includes pulling the bottom eye lid down with my middle finger and rollin' my eyes back. It was worth it just to hear her laugh again. Did I mention how gorgeous she is when she smiles?

"It's not just one of those 'phases' mom!" She jokes.

"This is the real me!" We're both just goofing off now, laughing in unison.

"No seriously, other than being a total dingus what are you doing here?" I fake being shocked at her comment.

"I own this place!" I exclaim, and throw my arms up, "This place is my castle."

"Oh god, sorry I thought this was a real offer, not a pity offer."

"it wasn't out of pity! You're perfect for the job."

"You sure?" I nod.

"Absolutely! Plus, now I have someone to jam with." She's wearing ripped black jeans and a black crop top with body chains under. God, I just wanna kiss the shit out of her face.

--

It's Friday.

I told Elana I'd show her how to close up shop tonight. Really, I didn't care how she did it, just as long as she turned the lights off and locked the door, but it was an excuse for more alone time, just her and I. Right now I'm stacking the newest 5 Seconds of Summer CD. I would never tell anyone this but I may or may not have jammed out to this album like, six times already. This was about the time Elana was supposed to be here around... 15 minutes ago. I'm not too worried yet.

By the time it hits 8 o'clock though, i'm right damn near a panic attack.

Where could she be?

She could be laying in a fucking ditch and i'd have no idea.

Fuck, El pick up your god forsaken phone.

I hear the bell, and suddenly let out a breath I didn't know I was holding in. Sure enough she' there, except she's not even fake smiling, she's just standing in the entryway. I knew there was something wrong... my feet were heading over to her before I could even ponder the thought.

"Elana where the hell-" But then I stop. She has black tear streaks stained down her face. I try to bring my thumb up to her cheek and brush it away, but all that's left is black residue. Then, I lift her chin and see that her eyes are the same dark color the were at the lake. Not gold, but dark. I was about to ask if I could hold her, or just, god, anything to make her eyes bright. Instead she wraps her thin arms around my waist. My immediate reaction is to hug her back, but when I do her body is different, smaller... she's skinnier. After just about thirty seconds she pulls herself away.

Her hair brushes against my chest when she tries to walk away, but I grab her arm and pull her back so she's next to me again. When I look down at the hand in mine, it's not it's usual pale color, it's stricken with blue and purple bruises, residing mostly on her knuckles. I don't know what to say or how to react, but she does. Elana rejects me and pulls her hand back, practically curling into her hoodie.

"Babe- I mean El. Fuck, please tell me what happened." I crouch down next to her.

"I don't really w-wanna talk about i-it." the words only stumble out. I try to remain intact. Just seeing her like this, her lip quivering, her eyes watering, it's just too much. I hate that she's hurting, it feels like i'm being stabbed. Suddenly, she tugs my arm down so I'm sitting next to her, leaning against the glass.

After the sun goes all the way down and street lights are the only thing lighting up the world around us, she gets up. She stumbles a bit when she's standing up, her thin legs adjusting to the difference. Elana looks off, like she's beyond dizzy or something. Never have I been so scared for someone. It felt as if she could break at any moment.

We spent the remainder of the night goofing off, I ordered a pizza, but she didn't eat any. Being too afraid to leave her alone, we ended up staying in the shop, listening to vinyls until about 2 am.

When I walked her home though, she said goodbye to me in front of the door.

"Goodnight, I'm sorry." She looked quavery, but quickly shut the door behind her before she could get questioned by me.

I leaned my back against the door and let my body quickly slide down. A tear slowly escaped my eye, but my thumb quickly took care of that.

"So am i." I whispered to the night sky, to no one.