ink - sirius black

delusions of comfort and silenced emotions

March 27, 1977
3:01 am
Gryffindor Common Room

Long after the rest of her year had gone to get some much needed sleep after the emotionally straining night, Anneliese laid on her back on top of the pillows of one of the empty common room couches, staring up at the high ceiling with the words of the parchment echoing in her head.

Remus needing validation tonight was one of the few times that Callaway had ever seen Lupin truly upset, and clearly even the other Marauders weren't used to seeing him so undone either.

I guess boys will do that to you, Anneliese thought sourly as she looked up with her hands folded on her stomach. They have a way of messing with your emotions, don't they?

Even though Callaway was happy that they had gotten the general idea of things sorted out for Remus and his unfair anger was no longer being projected onto too many people, her own issues were still left thoroughly unresolved.

Such a blur of emotions and shouting had occurred after what the Map had said to her that Anneliese had neither had time to process the words nor have someone give her a logical explanation while they were all focused on Remus.

Mr Padfoot would like to register his astonishment that Anneliese Callaway is such a selfish person who only seems to care about herself and her own reputation, not other people's feelings that she constantly invalidates.

Anneliese felt her stomach turn slightly with these words, still not understanding where they had come from. Every time that she thought of what the ink had said in Sirius's writing, she tried to make a few excuses to understand why they had appeared.

James said that it was just a defense mechanism for the parchment to protect it, Callaway reminded herself for the dozenth time. None of it actually means anything. And hell, that defense worked, because my hands were about to drop it from how badly they were shaking.

Anneliese slowly sat up for the first time in hours, and her head violently spun with the effort to even just prop herself up on her elbows.

Dark blue eyes scanning the coffee table, they landed on a pack of cigarettes belonging to some unknown, careless person who must have just left them there earlier in the night.

Then again, James also said that I should have stayed in an orphanage while I had the chance, Callaway reminded herself. Fuck this, I don't even know what to think about anything anymore.

Her skeleton tattooed hand reached forward to grab one of them along with the lighter resting next to it, also abandoned. Anneliese always felt like smoking would help, but it was really just the habit of doing it with Leo ever since she was thirteen that did the trick.

Cigarettes were like having him there as a form of comfort, and Callaway let herself bask in it for a few moments as she shut her eyes and leaned back on the couch.

"I can smell the smoke from my dorms," a familiar voice whined like a toddler from the steps. "Go to sleep, A."

"Shut the hell up, James, and then maybe I would be able to," Anneliese snapped back, still with her eyes shut. "Actually, if you keep talking to me, I will shove this cigarette up your ass along with where your head is."

Potter cringed slightly. He had been expecting this hostile form of greeting when coming down to the common room, but it still hurt.

"We need to talk about the Map," James said with a frown, walking over to Anneliese. "I-"

"Yea, no shit we need to talk about that stupid paper!" Callaway cried furiously, sitting up all the way with tears in her eyes. "Believe me, the only reason all of you aren't dead is because poor little Remus was-"