Residues

Chapter10

"Are you a virgin?" Nimish asked.

"Eh... Why is that important?" I asked feeling a bit of a creep vibe.

"No. Coz I am," He says, shyly.

Oh!

Nimish Gopal Iyyer is the guy I was meeting. The guy was a Tamil-Brahmin. A vegetarian. Except for that he looked smart, wore specks, had a negligible Tamil accent and talked about his parents a lot. Initially, I had thought that the parents' things was very cute. But after a bit, I was getting mamma's boy vibes.

"What are your thoughts about marriage?"

Huh???

"Eh..." I hesitated.

"Just asking," He says.

I nodded.

"We can just... you know... have some fun too... Like I was looking for something serious, but if you are not interested, then we can have fun too."

"Okay," I said. "Listen I have to be somewhere. So I think I should leave now?"

"Okay. Okay. I will call you."

"Okay. Bye..."

I needed Suhani. But I was not in a mood to talk to Suhani. I am still weird out and angry with Suhani. So I knocked on Rihan's door. He opened.

"Hey, how did the date go?" He seemed really happy to see me.

"If a guy asks 'what is your thought on marriage' on a first date? To a girl who he is meeting for the first time..."

"Run," Rihan says. "Run in the opposite direction."

"But why though?" I was sitting on the couch of Rihan's house. "I mean he said he is okay with having fun too."

"Means he wants to have 'fun'" He quoted the 'fun' in the air.

"I can have sex with him. He is cute." I said. "He has such a babyface. No wonder the poor guy is a virgin."

"I don't know. He may get clingy after. Trust me, a guy does not just forget his first time. The first girl is special." Rihan says.

"Oh wow... I want to be special." I grinned.

"What if he asks you to marry him?"

"Hm..."

"You are not thinking about marrying him, are you?"

"Hm..." I made it long a 'hmm' thinking.

"Seriously?"

"I mean I do want to get married someday. And settle down and have kids. And I am not getting any younger. And my parents may like him. He is a South Indian."

"Ishi," Rihan turned to me, "You have gone mad. You need... You need Suhani. That's what you need. Call her."

I blinked at him. He was saying her name after so many weeks. That too, so casually. "Have you... Have you forgiven her then?" I asked. A shadow fell to his face at once and he looked down. And he looked sad. "Rihan..."

"You know... You need not lose your friend on my behalf." He said. "She did nothing to you."

"Yeah, but she hurt you. And I needed to pick a side." He looked up, with grateful eyes. "I will think about the whole thing a bit more," I added.

We sit in silence for a while.

"Ish..."

"Hm?"

"Can I ask you something?"

"Yeah..."

He hesitated.

"Ask," I say.

"When you say... you are not a virgin... Was it... Yash?"

And I went back to the night of thunder and lightning and rain...

"Yeah" I mumbled.

Rihan nodded. "Was it just after graduation?"

"Yeah." It's barely a whisper. "How do you?"

"He was my best friend. He had said he is seeing a girl. And that she is very very special. That he thinks he even loves her."

And I go cold. "He... he said that?"

Rihan nodded...

And there is unbearable pain inside me. I could not hold it in... He never said that to me. Not in those exact words of 'I love you'. We never said that to each other.

I knew though. And he knew. We expressed in actions than words. In countless kisses and passion and heat. And fights. And taunting. And trying to one-up each other... Until...

"Ishi, Are you okay?" Rihan moved closer. I could only shake my head, and try to breathe, because my chest was constricted. "I need to go." I managed to say. I got up and ran.

I can't cry in front of Rihan. I can't cry because of Yash in front of anybody. Because Yash is private. Always had been. Yash and I was a secret that existed only between us two.

I closed the door behind me and fell to the floor crying.

Chapter 10.5

I was about to knock on the door. But I could hear sobs.

And I wanted to let her cry alone

So, I stood outside the door

Till the sobs stopped