Residues

Chapter 22

When Rihan came home that night, Vishwa was sitting in my living room. The door was open; so Rihan just walked in and was surprised to see Vishwa.

"Oh... Hey... Long time, Dude." He went and did the guy handshake with him. "How is Vainavi?"

"Good."

"We should all hang out some time together."

"What did Suhani say?" I asked. Rihan looked up at me in the middle of his laugh. "Eh... I did not meet her."

"You didn't go?" He didn't go?

He shook his head. Vishwa cleared his throat. Rihan looked at him. "I was about to call you anyway. I need to tell you something." He got up and came to me and put his hand around me. "Ishi and I are together now." He said. "Kind of..." He added later.

"Okay..." Vishwa said.

That was quite anti-climatic for Rihan. He expected a better response. "That's all? Are you not surprised?"

"Rihan," I turned to him. "I told him already."

"Oh..."

Awkward silence.

"So..." Vishwa broke the silence, looking at Rihan. "What's the plan?"

"What do you mean 'what's the plan'?"

"I heard Suhani broke up."

"So?"

"So... are you going back to her?" Vishwa was playing the concerned older brother role now. And I felt very grateful and all.

Rihan went silent and he shook his head. "No."

"No?" Vishwa asked. "No, like for now. Or no forever?"

And Rihan fiddled with his bag strap. "Did you guys forget what she did to me? Besides, I am with Ishi now. Right, Ishi?"

"You know I won't ever hold you back," I mumbled.

I saw anger in his eyes for a second. He turned to Vishwa, "Vishwa can you go? I want to talk to my girlfriend." Girlfriend?

"Your girlfriend? Ishi?"

"Who else? I just told you." Vishwa said.

Vishwa looked happy enough with that. "Okay... So I'll just go. I will call you later." He added to me. And walked out. Rihan went and closed the door for him and came back to me.

"Why didn't you go see her?" I asked before he could talk.

"Have you got amnesia or something? Did you forget what she did to me?"

"No. I remember that. And since I have not got amnesia, I also remember that you love her."

"Ishi..."

"That's the truth and you know it."

He looked frustrated. He stepped closer. "Then what about us?" He came closer. "What about the last two weeks? What about the fact that I really like you?" He touched my cheek. "I love you."

"No. You don't." I said, realising that. Maybe we don't...

"I... It's hard to explain but... You are important to me. Shit! I am trying here Ishi." I could see the desperation in his eyes. "Please meet me at least halfway. You said you love me."

"I..." I did not want to hurt him. And since he is doing this, I did not want to push him away. "I do..."

"Then I do too." He said. "I know I have feelings left for Suhani. But I love you too."

I stayed silent.

"I am not going back to her. I can't feel the same for her anymore." He said. "Even if you leave me... I won't... It's hard to repair."

I was listening now.

"Suhani and I ... We can maybe become friends one day. But... I really cannot forget what happened. And... Can't...feel the same anymore. Do you get that?"

I nodded.

"Good." He said and pulled me into a hug. "Don't leave me," He shivered against me. "I need you to be my anchor right now. Keep me in place. Please."

He buried his head in my neck. He needed comfort. He was seeking comfort. I patted his back and placed my hand on the back of his neck. "Rihan... You should meet with her once."

"I will. Later... Let me be here, for now, Ishu." He snuggled closer.

"You want to be with me?" I asked. "Are you sure?"

"Yeah... At least for now."

At least for now...??? But that was a much better reassurance than him promising me a 'forever'. This was more realistic.

"At least for now," I repeated.

Chapter 22.5

At least for now I wanted to be in her hands.

If love was what I had with Suhani...

I did not know what this was

Because 3/4th of my heart was still broken

Broken to a thousand pieces, Lying around here...

But it was Ishu who mended that quarter of a heart

So, I wanted the rest of it mended

I want stability and security

When I backed off Ishu touched my cheek

I looked into her eyes.

And I knew I was scared... scared that she will also leave me