My mafia love

20~Regretful

He enters the room again sending me a cheeky smile. Oh how I love that smile. I think it's safe to say that despite the kidnapping, the threats, the tears and the fear, I've completely caught feelings for this man. I don't even care if I sound crazy anymore. There's not a single man I'd rather have shared these experiences with.

He walks over to the bed, topless and with some clean grey joggers, and I genuinely think people should have to pay to even look at this man. He's built like a god.

"Well hello there again" he winks.

"Hey cadey" I blurted out back to him. He gives me a weird look then covers it with a low chuckle.

"Cadey?" He questions.

"I.. I have no idea why I said that" I look down nervously. What the hell is cadey?!

He chuckles again and shakes his head.

His phone rings making me jump. "Hello?" He says answering the phone. "What?!" "Yea. We'll be back in 2 days" "bye" and then he put the phone down.

"That was Derrick" he sighs, rubbing his index finger and thumb over his eyes frustratedly.

"What did he say?" I ask.

"All those gun shots, it was your mother and her stupid fucking gang" he explains, slightly raising his voice.

I rest my hand on his shoulder "it's going to be o-"

"It's not going to be okay!!!" He shouts in anger while pushing my hand away. I stay completely silent not wanting to get on his nerves. He stands up and knocks the lamp onto the floor harshly, making it shatter into tiny pieces.

I quickly stand up and grab his arm gently. "Cade-"

He grabs my wrists hard making it slightly sting and gets in my face. "She's not gunna stop as long as YOUR here!!" He raises his voice again making me jump trying to hold back the tears that are always wanting to fall. What was that supposed to mean?

His grip tightens on my wrists and I try blink back the tears trying to escape from my eyes. "Cade your h-hurting me" I quivered. He forcefully throws my hands out of his and walks out of the room.

My legs become week and I let my self collapse onto the floor. I let the tears escape freely. We were so good minutes ago, did a phone call just ruin everything.

I stare at my red marked hands while water splashes onto them. After I let my self cry over the incident I grabbed a sweeping brush and begun sweeping up the shattered pieces of glass.

If the news was worse, in which case made Cade even angrier, how far would he have gone to hurt me?

I knew cade wasn't going to come back in here tonight, so I just got in the bed, completely wrapped my self up and tried forcing my self asleep. I did end up actually falling asleep, but not before a few silent sobs left my mouth.

~~

I woke up to my eyes stinging and in a still empty bed. I'm not getting out of bed I don't have the mental energy for that right now. And.. I don't think I can face Cade either. Who knows he could still be angry.

I don't even bother getting up to get dressed. I take a look at my hands that are now circled in purple bruises. I can feel that lump in my throat retuning. God I'm sick of crying! All the time! All I do is cry cry cry..

But right now I really can't stop them from falling down my face.

After a few minutes, I hear the bedroom door open I burry my head under the covers knowing exactly who just entered, I feel the bed dip. "Kelly.." he calls, his voice low and quiet, and guilt quite clear. I don't answer, he sighs and pulls the covers below my face and is viewed with the back of my head. "Kelly look at me. Please"

I didn't plan to, but after a few seconds I found my myself turning my head towards him. Water was smudged around my eyes along with the redness. His face relaxes in complete remorse.

"Kelly.. im so so sorry" he struggled to speak.

I say nothing but look him in the eye. "I really can't tell you how sorry I am, believe me. I didn't mean to raise my voice at you. I let my anger get the best of me. It's just that.. she wants to take you away from me" he explains putting his head in his hands.

"Maybe that's for the best" I whisper so he won't hear my voice crack. Of course I don't think that, but if that's how he's going to deal with his anger then I don't think I can do it.

"What? No! You can't leave!" He shrieked desperately.

I sit up, which means the covers have fallen off my body. He looks down at my wrists and his eyes widen in horror. Shock takes over his expression as his mouth keeps opening and closing like he's going to say something, but doesn't know what words to use.

"I-I did this to you" his voice broke. And the sound completely shattered my heart into a million pieces. I've never heard Cade stutter. He sounded so regretful and astonished in such disappointment when he realised what he did. He takes my wrists ever so gently in his own big hands, and studies my wrists. They weren't bad, just slightly+lightly bruised.

He hits his head harshly multiple times and backs away from me as if I'm going to break.
He shakes his head in disbelief, still in shock at his actions.

"Kelly.." he whispers, sounding like he's on the verge of tears.

"I'm fine" I force a smile on my face.

"I think it's best you let me go" I add

"Please don't leave me" he begs.

The sound of his voice is so fragile. I never thought Cade would ever show me his vulnerable side. Especially like this. But who am I kidding? I could never leave Cade. I was irrevocably falling for this man and I feel proud to admit it. His anger would be something we'd work on but all I know is I couldn't leave him even if I tried my hardest.

"Cade.."

"No. You can't leave me"

I crawl off the bed and over to where he's standing. I grab his face with my small hands and look into his dark glassy eyes. I shake my head, giving up with battle thats telling me stop. I then place my lips on his desperately. He kisses me back instantly but doesn't move his hands from his side. I give him a weird curios look and he looks down still looking so very guilty.

"I'm not touching you" he tells me.

"What?"

He looks down at my hand and I knew that was his answer.

"Cade, it's fine"

"Don't say it's fine. I hurt you kelly. I hurt you. I'll never forgive myself for that" my heart melts at his words. It's so obvious to tell how much he cares and it makes me for once feel.. loved..